Thursday, April 26, 2007

STOP! No More Right Hand Red!

“But game playing, like hypocrisy, is one of those things people only think they’re against. In reality, we all do it. And our success in love and romance largely depends on how well we do it,” –Dan Savage.

I only PARTIALLY agree with this statement.

I think that the games and the rules for dating seem to vary from person to person and that there is a large gap between being “coy” and being a “player.”

I prefer coy.

And my own experience has taught me that the rules have changed with each person who has courted me.

I was taking stock of the last year or so of my single-life and I realized that all those times I thought I was playing the “game” perfectly turned out entirely wrong.

And when I looked at the encounters that turned into meaningful relationships, I realized that was when the rules went out the window.

I don’t like games ← cliché I know.
But I am done playing them.

No more “playing hard to get.”
No more “playing that this is enough.”
No more “check-mate” unless he matters.

Because dating is like a game of Twister… sure the colors are nice and there’s “fun” to be had, but if the sport goes on too long everything gets convoluted.

And if everyone’s hands are tangled and stationary, who can spin the tell-all arrow and determine what comes next?
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What games do YOU play or HATE to play?


vanessa said...

I HATE when a guy acts like he's really into you when its just the two of you. And no, not just the whole get in your pants scenerio, he acutally acts like he wants to go out and do something with you, but the moment he sees his friends its like jeckyl and hyde.. I'm sorry what was your name again?

Chrissie said...

Yeah, the too cool for cuddling scenario...

I think it fades once guys get a little older though.

You think girls are guilty of being different around their friends though too?

vanessa said...

Seans 30 and he's just gotten over that within the past year or so.. thank god.

I think we are a little bit guilty of it too. No one ever wants their friends to think their "whipped".. especially when we're young and "cool".

Its funny. we dont like no attention, but when we see other couples all over each other in public, everyone screams "get a room." Is there a happy medium to PDA.

Anonymous said...

There is a happy medium and it consists of you not thinking like you from American or a Mid-East country.

If you like affection and really enjoy the company your in then who cares what everyone else thinks. 87% of the time those yelling get a room really wish they had someone to get a room with. The other 13% are just jokers looking to get a rise out of their buddies.

Life is far to short for games and no one really seems to know that. I guess it's the competition that people really crave more than actually being with someone.

Love wildly and live for the sunrise.

Sorry about the spelling CHRISSSIE ;P

Chrissie said...

Yeah, I'm a huge advocate for PDAs... let em talk!

It's just jealousy;)

Anonymous said...

It definitely would be ;)

vanessa said...

I think this is true. But sometimes the people expressing the EXTREME PDA shouldn't be expressing it in public. Especially when people are trying to eat.

But I suppose you cant ban gross people from being all over each other... Especially since they've found someone that doesn't find them gross.

Anonymous said...

Ah yes gross, one person's treasure is another's trash.

Don't really think I'm of a high enough authority to tell anyone how to judge others on levels of beauty threw their eyes.

are you?

Beauty is relative and when your in your late years it really can't be spent on health care or the fact that you have some one devoted and loyal to you for you. I would say a personality and smile trump the best pair of legs.

Mr. B

Chrissie said...

I think when you're happy in a relationship other people's PDAs are less offensive.

It's when you're single and hating it that Jack and Jane sucking face is gross...

I say let them do it... to an extent.

I mean, there's a time and a place for everything, but some snuggling never hurt anybody...

Except maybe the grumps who hate to see people happy.

vanessa said...

No, I don't believe I'm a high enough authority to state who is beautiful and who isn't. Especially since you're right in the fact that we all have our own tastes, and supposedly there's someone for everyone. BUT...

Sometimes at first glance, you can't help but judge. In any situation. Some people are better than others at not judging. I have been both the judger and judgee. Sometimes within minutes of each other...

Whether its a comment of "what the hell was she wearing" or "that guy is dumber than a box of rocks".

I believe we were originally wired for "Survival of the fittest", people are always summing up people to see if they'll become competition or if they clarify them as a "non threat", whether or not they're right in their assumptions is a completely different story.

It may not be politically correct, and some people may be more open minded than others, but it still happens and I believe it always will.

vanessa said...

I'm writing way too much when I'm supposed to be working.

Chrissie I agree, there's nothing wrong with snuggling in public but I think when it turns to climbing all over each other half nakedness, then thats something to share with each other, not each other and the entire world.

Anonymous said...

That depends on if your at a Pizza Hut!

Sarah said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Especially at IHOP!

Roll playing is good, I guess Sarah.

vanessa said...

Why is Pizza Hut an exception?

Anonymous said...

Any thing goes at the HUT!

vanessa said...


Anonymous said...

A little late to be commenting on this post, but it's worth noting that the dating-Twister analogy is subtle evidence of impressively superior wit.

Things like that might sometimes go unnoticed...

But I noticed it.