Thursday, May 31, 2007


There's something to be said about selfless acts. These City of Poughkeepsie men in blue came to my rescue today and put a big smile on my face!


1. a man of distinguished courage or ability, admired for his brave deeds and noble qualities.

Grandpa played his cards right!

My grandpa recently told me about how he met my grandma. He was playing cards and she came over and sat on his lap. (You Go Grandma!) Two years later, they were married. (She was 17, he was 25! You Go Grandpa!)

Grandpa said to me: "They say you know when you see a person that he or she is the one."

Two years ago, today, I went on my first date with Chris.

I met Chris at Mahoney's. I saw him, and knew I had to meet him. So I went over and talked to him. I even kissed him. A week later, we went on our first date, and looking at him, I knew.

How did you meet your mate? Did you know?

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

While we are forgiving people...

I did not have sexual relations with that woman, but I did write a blog that hurt one of my friends.

I deleted it.

And now I want to apologize.

It's cliche -- but it's true. Words hurt worse than swords. I forget sometimes.

But life is about lessons.

I learned a valuable one.

It's easy to hide behind your words. To make fun of someone. To post as a character. To forget about feelings.

It's not easy to admit you were wrong. To apologize in public. To be outed as a jerk.

But I am a jerk. I am sorry.

Forgive and forget?

Monday, May 28, 2007


Today is MY 25th Birthday!!!

Give me some ideas on how to NOT be depressed about this...

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

I'm in the Goonies!

Last night, while asleep, I was transported into a movie montage. I have no desire to be an actress, so WHAT DOES IT MEAN????

My real life boyfriend Chris died mysteriously (in the dream). With the help of my freshman English college professor, who oddly resembled the Oz wizard, we were using a book that belonged in a Harry Potter flick to find Chris' lost soul. Only it wasn't a book. The pages were filled with maps of roads that laid out his life. I was in a sense, following the yellow brick road, to save him. But I wasn't singing tunes with little people, I was petrified.

Just before I got to the part where I could save his soul, Anne Ramsey from "The Goonies" demanded to know where the treasure was. I didn't know. But then money started falling out of my pants leg. I woke up before the one-eyed sloth could get me, but I never did save my boyfriend.

Pink think, trinkets, and TP

“It’s like sending 2 aliens out to plan a bridal shower,” my friend said as we attempted to be “girly” and like frilly pink things.

That’s so not me.

I can’t pretend to like weddings, or pink plates, or tiny favors.

(What IS a party favor other than a piece of garbage that you actually have to PAY FOR???)

They will go straight from your home, into the guests’ garbage… only passing through your wallet on the way.

“Oh! Get these! These are PERFECT!!!” exclaimed my alien friend as she picked up BRIDE AND GROOM NAPKINS.


After I cleaned up the pink plates, and the pink silverware…
After I tore down the pink balloons and put the paper doves and glittering hearts away

I found a stack of ONE THOUSAND napkins on the table.
They were adorned with the “happy couple” and impossible to use at any other social function.

Unless you count the possibility of my own engagement… in which case I repeat “IMPOSSIBLE TO USE AT ANY OTHER SOCIAL FUNCTION!”

Conveniently and ironically for ME… I also ran out of some household “staples” after the bridal shower.

Ya know, like toilet paper.

Turns out those napkins are usable after all.

(I guess the perfect couple DOES have a place in my apartment... and their wedding dance involves a loud flush and swirling into the septic).

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

It's hard work, but you gotta do it!

Romance is a word that is lacking in the male vocabulary, so let me spell it out for you.

R -- If she's not relaxed, that's probably a sign that NOW isn't a good time. Resolve her tension with a back rub or draw her a bubble bath for ONE.
O -- Overtime. Romance is not wham bam. It starts in the morning, when you set toothpaste on her toothbrush, includes a surprise bouquet of flowers sent to her work Just Because, then a chilled bottle of her favorite wine set out to greet her when she arrives home... Put in the TIME and even, The Overtime.
M -- Mandate. Don't play the "But it's been weeks" card. There's no mandate when it comes to romance, even if you are married, stooopid!
A -- Adore her and she will melt in your hand.
N -- Use your noodle not your nob. Your noodle will tell you to turn off the lights, play some soft music... Your nob will sound like a Nike commercial.
C -- Comply. That's right, suck it up, and learn what she wants you to do to make her happy, and in the case of romance, what she likes. If you don't know what that is, find out.
E -- Effort. Even if you can't follow the above advice, usually a woman will react nicely when she notices her man has put in some extra effort.

Ladies, have any tips for the men out there?

Setting the mood

1. DO start the day off nicely. You can’t just throw a new mood at someone if your first utterance of the day was, “Hey, can you get me some more toilet paper.”

2. DO take her somewhere NICE first, but make sure it suits HER. If she’s the outdoors-ey type, take her for a picnic, if she’s Miss. Priss a nice dinner will do.

3. DO tell her she looks nice, smells nice, or simply is nice. Compliments go A LONG WAY (especially if they are sincere).

4. DO cuddle (before AND after).

5. DO make her a priority (before AND after).


1. DON’T ever EXPECT anything, ever.

2. DON’T discuss how sexy the woman on television is and then suggest you “go up to bed.” No woman feels attractive after you’ve ogled Salma Hayek.

3. DON’T put on “make-out” music and expect it to work, most women are put off by that forced “romanticism” and it causes more giggles than anything else.

4. DON’T tell her that she’s a 7 on ANY scale of 1-10.

5. DON’T forget that it takes 2 to tango… and both dancers COUNT.

Monday, May 21, 2007

Fluffy and your new found friend with benefits

Aaagggghhhhhh CHOOOO!!!!”

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He’s allergic to your cat.

Sure, EVERY GUY SAYS he’s allergic to Mr. Fluffy, but is it really true???

Or is it excuse number 1,453,500,382 as to why he can’t come over?

I mean sure, there’s the whole “job” thing and the “friends” thing… and gas IS very expensive… and maybe he really DOES need to wash his hair, again.

But the whole, “I’m allergic to your cat,” excuse seems to happen so suddenly.

His eyes might look REALLY red.
And all that sneezing will surely keep BOTH of you up at night.

But maybe, just maybe, that’s why he’d rather you come to his place.

OR MAYBE he uses the cat as a convenient excuse… a reason to make you work harder while he gets to sit back and enjoy your efforts in the quasi-relationship you find yourselves in.

Is he just not that into your cator is he just not that into you???

Can a cat really make or break a relationship?

It’s not like I own a boa constrictor…
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Oh no, I'm dating Barry Bonds!

At first you can't keep your hands off his bulging biceps. But after a few months of dating, you can't help but notice that he hardly goes to the gym.

And then it hits you, the acne breakouts, fits of rages, mood swings... Duh! He's on roids, juice, rocket fuel...

Not every guy is as honest as Jason Giambi, (or as sweaty, thank god) so ladies, you must know the signs:
Quick weight and muscle gain, aggressiveness, jaundice, purple or red spots on the body, swelling of feet, trembling, darkening of the skin, bad breath, acne, shrinking of the testicles which can lead to impotence, baldness and irreversible breast enlargement.

So once you diagnose, what next?

I suggest you threaten him with an over-the-counter drug test when you ask him to tell you the truth.

Ever dated a guy like this? What did you do?

Thursday, May 17, 2007

The kind you don't bring... ANYWHERE

The “Nice Guy”
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HIS LOOK: Perfectly pressed button down shirts, expensive slacks, and shiny shoes.

HIS ATTITUDE: He love, love, loves YOU right from the start! Within 3 dates he’s given you his home security code, paid off all your debts, and given you your very own credit card in his name.

HIS ALLURE: He seems to genuinely LIKE/LOVE you. All those flowers, gifts, and expensive dinners almost make you forget that you have nothing in common and that he looks like Screech from Saved by the Bell.

WHY YOU’LL REGRET IT: After all the spending, you’ll soon realize that it’s hard to RESPECT a doormat… no matter how big your house in the Suburbs will be.

The Married-Guy
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HIS LOOK: He’s the poster boy for maturity, a real job, assets, and he looks so cute playing with his kids!!!

HIS ATTITUDE: He’s super confident… oh yeah… and SUPER SECRETIVE. Your late night rendezvous are so EXCITING!!!

HIS ALLURE: He’s willing to sacrifice his perfect wife, home, and happy children for you. He’d throw it ALL away for the sweet 20-something who worships him.

WHY YOU’LL REGRET IT: It doesn’t take long to realize that he’s not leaving ANYTHING behind for you, that “someday” he speaks of is slang for “the day my wife leaves me and I’m lonely without her.”

The Bartender
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HIS LOOK: He lures the ladies in with his all black sexy outfit… finished off with a perfect pair of slip-resistant shoes.

HIS ATTITUDE: Who cares how he acts… he gets you drunk enough (for free) that you don’t even notice what he’s saying.

HIS ALLURE: He’s the only guy in the bar who’s NOT SOLELY there to pick up chicks, and so he’s more of a challenge. (Except, you realize much too late that he WORKS THERE IN ORDER TO PICK UP CHICKS… why else would a 30-something man be content to stay up until 5 a.m. 7 days a week and still live with his parents?)!!!


Know of any other "guys" to stay away from?

The kind you don't bring home to mom

The initial meeting: As he walked by you at the club his neck twisted unnaturally so he could get a better view of your body. His lips went "whit-who" to let you know he liked what he saw. He was surrounded by an entourage of "blue shirts," similar to his own, all giving him pounds the moment you looked their way. Your eyes wandered downward so you could make eye contact, but first you noticed the dangerous spikes on his head. That's when he swept you off you feet with: "You are BU-tif-full."

The final outcome: Ladies, let this guy find some other way to release his xtc-induced sexual tension. After a couple of dates, his "god's gift to women" mentality and his inability to separate from "his boys" will over power that initial attraction.

The initial meeting: He sits on the steps of an eclectic boutique, playing a bongo drum, with an American Spirit non-filter perched on his bottom lip. You stop to pet the friendly mutt at his feet. When you do, the scent of grass, dirt and trees fills your nostrils. He parts his dreadlocks enough to flash you a sexy grin and perk your curiosity.

The final outcome: You end it when you figure out his idea of a romantic night is rearranging the decorative rocks he has displayed on his coffee table and watering his five-foot-tall "medicinal" plants. Face it -- you don't have the same interests, move on.

The initial meeting: You are at the mall, when you hear someone shout, "Whatup girl!" You turn and spot him -- Sean John clothing, gold medallion, stiff rim hat with a "cigar" behind the ear, untied white sneakers... and he's walking right towards you, dragging his right foot.

The final outcome: Things get rocky when he starts calling you his "baby's momma," especially when he does it in front of your dad. But it's not until your wallet turns up missing that you decide you've had enough.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Miscellaneous fashion DON'T

Elastic-bottom-sweats, white socks, and a sports jacket.

Would you wear THIS out???

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Your house or mine?

His house pros:
HIM, of course
Free dinner (maybe)
A big backyard
Lots of indoor space
Free use of utilities
Adorable location

My apartment pros:
Not having to pack an overnight BAG
All my stuff (MY BED)
1 mile from work
Good use of my rent $
Hang w/ my roommate
Not having to drive

The answer to "Your house or mine?" for most long-term relationship couples is not always simple and often causes problems. "I'm saying home" can be misinterpreted. "I'm too tired" can lead to wrong conclusions. "My house" can sound selfish.

So what do you do when you are homesick?

Monday, May 14, 2007

I'm sorry

What's this you ask? An apology? Coming from a woman to a man? Can't be!

Ahhh but it is!

I'm sorry for all the things that women do that make you crazy. LIKE:

When we tell you we aren't hungry and then eat your food. Fish for compliments. Gossip. Get all emotional. Crash your guys' night. Switch your baseball game to Dancing with the Stars. Quit eating meat. Baby talk/childish nicknames like "Pee Wee" and "Bear." Add our "touch" to your apartment/house. Make you walk our foofoo dogs. Drag you to a Britney Spears movie and make you buy us popcorn, and then tell all your friends about our great date. Demand that you moisturize. Make you change your shirt. Turn into the alcohol police. Assume that every woman you talk to is someone you are sleeping with. Overreact.

MEN, what else should women apologize for?

Meet Mr. Sasquatch

Forget the sexual revolution, forget a woman’s right to be “equal.”

Well, PLEASE DON’T forget these things REALLY, but keep this in mind…

None of these ideas play well in the dating world… and there’s plenty of chick lit to prove it.

It’s practically become the bible for single chicks the last few years, and Greg Behrendt's, “He’s Just Not That Into You,” says one thing loud and clear.

Forget everything that Gloria Steinem, Betty Friedan, Mary Daly and your really awesome mother told you.

Yes ladies, tie your corset VERY TIGHT and REPEAT AFTER ME.


Brehrendt's book tells single women to put down the phone, just smile and wink and he will come to you.

Yep, like I said, lace up that corset and sit pretty ladies, because apparently men are in control of your dating destiny.

(An excerpt from, He’s Just Not that Into You)

• An excuse is a polite rejection."

• Don't get tricked into asking him out. If he likes you, he'll do the asking.

• If you can find him, then he can find you. If he wants to find you, he will.

• Just because you like to lead doesn't mean he wants to dance. Some traditions are born of nature and last through time for a reason.

• "Hey, let's meet at so-and-so's party/any bar/friend's house" is not a date. Even if you live in New York.

• Men don't forget how much they like you. So put down the phone.

• You are good enough to be asked out.

My favorite piece of advice would be that last one… “Hey ladies… you’re good enough to be asked out, and you're even good enough for a nice romp in the hay, but don’t you DARE have opinions or take the lead!"

If you do, you’ll just have to get out the ol’ broom and dustpan to sweep away the remnants of the “relationship” you ruined. You know, that relationship you decided to go out and get yourself.”

Apparently if, “Man like woman, man take control.”

I guess it’s just too bad that some modern women don’t want to date Sasquatch.

Friday, May 11, 2007

Shake it like a Polaroid picture

Maybe you can help me come up with a solution to this DILEMMA.

I used to go out and DANCE all night. Forget the bar, forget the boys, I was out to shake, grind and bump to hip-hop. That's right Dane, I JUST WANT TO DANCE!

I used to have my regular spots - Cabs(New Paltz) on Thursdays, Exit(NYC) on Fridays, the Matrix(POK) on Saturdays. Then I got OLD.

I don't mean my joints hurt. I mean the new crowds of college students have infiltrated my hangouts and I don't fit in there anymore.

Yeah, yeah there's Mahoney's. Good old Mahoney's (where my Intern told me the "old people" go). I like it, sure I do. But it's not exactly a DANCE place. Yeah there's Shadows, but that's a lounge.

So where do the "old people" go to DANCE?

And perhaps the bigger picture question: What did you have to give up that you loved doing as you aged?

Single, Married, or Tweener

There exists a relationship status somewhere between the booty call and the girlfriend.

I call her, the tweener.

She’s the perfect plaything… there when you want her to be and disposable as soon as something better comes along.

She’s the chick that you like, have fun with, but she isn’t really a priority in your life.

A placeholder, a warm-body to chase away your loneliness.
A cute girl to have on your arm, until a cuter girl walks by.

But I wonder, in a world where there really aren’t absolutes… and finding “the one” is nearly impossible…

Is it wrong to have a tweener?

And more importantly, is it wrong to BE a tweener?

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Cheaters: Are they dogs or are they just being human?

Freshman year, he stood a few feet away from me and leaned his lips towards her. My back was turned, but nonetheless, other people saw him, and they dashed over to tell me.

The same boyfriend, weeks later, disappeared at a party. Finally, the bathroom door opened, and out he came, with her. Flustered, they explained she was showing him her toothbrush. I think it was the other way around.

One year out of college, he didn't come home after work. He didn't call. He didn't answer his phone. He vanished. 24 hours later, he clamored through our apartment door with an excuse: he was drunk and there was a DWI stop, so he stayed away. He had LIAR written on his forehead.

Could the anonymous commenter be right? Is it not in our genetics to be truly faithful to the one who we tell we love each day and night? To the one who we promise never to hurt?

Or are some MEN just dogs?

The "M" Word

No, no, no.


I'm talking about MONOGAMY.

And my personal experience has taught me this... err wait... here's a fairytale.

Once upon a time, a beautiful princess met her prince charming. After months of courtship and love, they moved into a tiny, loft apartment. In time, they grew apart... in need of personal space he moved himself and his precious laptop into the pantry. When he started to resemble a can of beans rather than a human being, the young prince decided that he needed to move out, get ON with his life... you know the one that his princess had apparently halted. He wanted openness. He wanted her still... and her, and her, and her too! After a year or so of this "openness," the young prince came to his senses and decided he couldn't do it anymore, he wanted exclusivity. He wanted what he had.

But it was too late.
All that openness had turned her sour, and the love that brought them to that tiny loft apartment was gone forever.

Lesson learned?

The prince thought he wanted to mingle with all the ladies in the kingdom.

But what made him REALLY feel like a king was having a princess all to himself.

Turns out, the Land of Monogamy wasn't so bad after all.
He now resides there, with someone else.

(I think;)

What are your experiences with monogamy/open-relationships???

Wednesday, May 9, 2007

Is marriage doomed?

In the POJO’s “Tell Me About It,” columnist Carolyn Hax tells a woman, who isn’t sure if all marriages are doomed, that there are many reasons why couples end up divorced.

She says: One reason is people settle. They pick a partner that is “good enough.” Or they think they are in love, but it’s really infatuation, or a desire for the title “Mrs.” Or they are in love, then something happens, and one of them changes. Or they hit a wall, like when one wants children and the other one doesn’t. Or they have bad communication and it catches up with them when life gets complicated.

“There is a place for hard work in a relationship,” she advises. “It’s in facing yourself, admitting your needs, anticipating your weaknesses, and summoning enough respect for the outcome to be your staunchest advocate.

“And, it’s in having the courage to wait for someone who is easy to love.”

Do you agree?

photo credit: by me!

Tuesday, May 8, 2007

Passing notes in study hall

I wish things were as simple and clear as they were back in 5th grade.

Back when getting tagged on the playground meant he liked you.
Back when getting a $1 carnation on Valentine’s Day meant he loved you.

You know… back when asking someone to be “exclusive” included a crumpled up piece of loose leaf and the order to “Circle one, YES or NO.”

But adult dating isn’t so clear and concise.

The words “commitment and exclusivity” bring fear rather than giggles.

A chick with a note demanding an answer is considered desperate instead of a go-getter.

And hell, a single carnation is an insult rather than a symbol of true love.

But sometimes I just wish that we still had 45 minutes at the end of everyday… to pretend we didn’t have any work to do and to pass a few notes.

Ahh yes... the days when boundaries and answers were circled with your favorite BIC pen... black, blue, or sometimes red.

But never gray... apparently that's the color for adulthood.

Monday, May 7, 2007

Lonely? Or just plain Creepy? YOU DECIDE!

My monthly POJO column ran this past Saturday "All men don't act like dogs, but occasionally we'd prefer it" to which I received the following e-mail (below is the shorten version). You decide if it's creepy! WOULD YOU RESPOND TO THIS?

Hello Sarah! Well I was sort of confused as a Man, about your recent
article about being more welcomed by your little dog than by your boy friend when you returned from a vacation...

If I were your boyfriend I would want to go and "protect" you and feel a bit jealous and nervous about you going there alone! I am sure you looked beautiful and alluring on a beach, probably in a string bikini that you would not wear in Poughkeepsie but is acceptable in Mexico, and plus a tan, so-why wouldn't men there notice and try to meet you? I would!
It is just a normal part of a man, to initiate possible romantic/sexual contact if he views an attractive woman and gets the impression that she is by herself. Most men are respectful of a woman if she "claims" to have a boy friend. Don't all women young or older say they have a boy friend? I am a bit envious however, of the fact that you have such a boy friend.
There are just some levels of affection that a pet cannot provide. Yes?
I am sure you looked beautiful on a beach in a bikini in Cancoon, and would also look beautiful in a bikini here, in the Hudson Valley area! Move over boyfriend! Thank you.

Confused and Lonely!

Friday, May 4, 2007

I've heard that I look a little like Sandra Bullock and I think I am OK with that. Although, my guess is that the commonalities have to do with having a fairly large NOSE.

I guess they were correct, according to my MyHeritage profile. Although, Tori Spelling and I LOOK NOTHING ALIKE! That's as kewl as spelling kewl kewl...

What do you think?

Celebrity Look-A-Likes

Everyone is told that they look like a celebrity at one time or another.

My Hollywood "TWIN" is Hilary Duff.

Some people have said that I look like Duff, "only hotter."

Another common comment was that "I didn't look like the "fat" Duff, or the "anorexic" one... I was somewhere in between."

It's hard to figure out if these things are compliments or insults.

BUT I GUESS IT COULD BE WORSE!!! Check this out!

Tell me some of the best/worst celebs YOU'VE been compared to!

Thursday, May 3, 2007

Kissing frogs- Where have all the Princes gone?

Cute girls don’t “like” ugly men.

And in all honesty… who wants to look at ANYTHING that’s ugly? Whether it be a person or a pothole, ugliness is not appealing for anyone.

No matter how desperately lonely they are.

But because our tastes vary from person to person, it’s hard to find someone that EVERYONE would say is attractive or not.

My friends think my tastes are crazy… and frankly I think some of their decisions are completely insane when it comes to the partners that they choose.

So that guy who looks like a frog to you, might actually be someone’s prince charming… it’s just a matter of weeding out all the warts and finding a spot of skin soft enough to kiss.

Wednesday, May 2, 2007

A man with good looks? Say good bye!

His T-shirt outlines his rock-hard chest muscles and the crisp white cotton makes his skin look caressed by the sun. His sea blues are a striking contrast against the charcoal waves on top of his head. He sees you peering at him, and gives you that smile, where the corners of the mouth give way to dimples and the eyes twinkle. He is mouth-drooling HOT!

You swap digits and you wait. A week later he calls with a lame excuse: His hamster knocked his cell phone in the toilet... You are so happy he called, you forget about it.

You go on your first date, not to a restaurant, but instead he comes over to your house, and wants to stay in... your room.

You try to find out more about him, but as you ask a question, he leans in and kisses you. You try again, but he's going for it again, and suddenly you feel his hand wandering around your bra strap.

You push him away and he gets angry. "What? You don't want to hook up?" he asks.

Good looks are blinding... that is they blind us from seeing these men for who they truly are. Don't you think the beautiful men in this world know that they can get away with a lot more than the typical Joe? It's the typical Joe who will worship you. Why else do cute girls like ugly men?

What do you think?

Tuesday, May 1, 2007

Poughkeepsie does not equal paradise: cancun update

Why I didn't want to come home:

1- my waiter Gonzo escorted me to (but not in ; ) the ladies room, all while telling me how he thought I was beautiful (two times!). My waiters in New York don't even remember to bring my beverage until the food comes!

2 - $40 could get you open bar at the best Cancun nightclubs. $40 MIGHT get you in the door at the best clubs in Manhattan.

3 - the ocean was a like bath water, the sand was like confectionery sugar in Cancun. I once put my beach blanket down next to a used tampon in New Jersey.

4 -
i could walk every where i wanted to go in Cancun. Back home, my SUV costs me $60 per tank of gas/ per week.

5 - i didn't have to go to work. No explanation needed.

Why I did want to come home:

1 - i realized how completely uncomfortable i am around topless sunbathers and old men who swim in see-thru tighty-whities. YIKES!

2 - day 1, i was positioning my chair perfectly in the sun. day 2, i was running into the ocean to hide from it. I got the perfect tan, if I was going for the raw filet mignon look.

3 - it's hard to make friends when the only Spanish words you know are: bano and modelo por favor!

4 - "Do you want a Mexican Boyfriend?" got real old, real quick!

5 - i need to work and earn $dough$ so i can go back again next year.

Photos: That is my actual hotel, those are beach beds that I spent the last four days laying on! That is the best club in Cancun!

Breaking up, become a mime

Why you never tell your friends/family a relationship is over until you know for sure it’s really over, kaput, finnito, no more:

1.) Because you can’t find a good excuse for getting back with someone who treated you poorly. “BUT I LIKE HIM” isn’t going to cut it.
2.) Because once you spilled the beans on why your relationship stank, people are going to think you're loony tunes for keeping your nose under the skunk’s tail.
3.) Because only girls who are wimps give guys who are pimps second chances.
4.) Because you’ve already given your mom/sister/best friend a thousand reasons why they should HATE your boyfriend. Prince Charming couldn’t undo that damage!
5.) Because the sympathy pool dries up after the second, third, fourth, ... breakup with the same dude. It's like talking to a wall! Why bother?
6.) Because you don't want to become "THAT COUPLE" -- the one that everyone talks bad about. "Can you believe Linda and Bob?" "Yeah, I know, they are both nuts!" "I KNOW! They should both be committed to the psych ward!"

Am I being cold-hearted, or did I nail it?