1.) Because you can’t find a good excuse for getting back with someone who treated you poorly. “BUT I LIKE HIM” isn’t going to cut it.
2.) Because once you spilled the beans on why your relationship stank, people are going to think you're loony tunes for keeping your nose under the skunk’s tail.
3.) Because only girls who are wimps give guys who are pimps second chances.
4.) Because you’ve already given your mom/sister/best friend a thousand reasons why they should HATE your boyfriend. Prince Charming couldn’t undo that damage!
5.) Because the sympathy pool dries up after the second, third, fourth, ... breakup with the same dude. It's like talking to a wall! Why bother?
6.) Because you don't want to become "THAT COUPLE" -- the one that everyone talks bad about. "Can you believe Linda and Bob?" "Yeah, I know, they are both nuts!" "I KNOW! They should both be committed to the psych ward!"
Am I being cold-hearted, or did I nail it?