Thursday, May 17, 2007

The kind you don't bring... ANYWHERE

The “Nice Guy”
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HIS LOOK: Perfectly pressed button down shirts, expensive slacks, and shiny shoes.

HIS ATTITUDE: He love, love, loves YOU right from the start! Within 3 dates he’s given you his home security code, paid off all your debts, and given you your very own credit card in his name.

HIS ALLURE: He seems to genuinely LIKE/LOVE you. All those flowers, gifts, and expensive dinners almost make you forget that you have nothing in common and that he looks like Screech from Saved by the Bell.

WHY YOU’LL REGRET IT: After all the spending, you’ll soon realize that it’s hard to RESPECT a doormat… no matter how big your house in the Suburbs will be.

The Married-Guy
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HIS LOOK: He’s the poster boy for maturity, a real job, assets, and he looks so cute playing with his kids!!!

HIS ATTITUDE: He’s super confident… oh yeah… and SUPER SECRETIVE. Your late night rendezvous are so EXCITING!!!

HIS ALLURE: He’s willing to sacrifice his perfect wife, home, and happy children for you. He’d throw it ALL away for the sweet 20-something who worships him.

WHY YOU’LL REGRET IT: It doesn’t take long to realize that he’s not leaving ANYTHING behind for you, that “someday” he speaks of is slang for “the day my wife leaves me and I’m lonely without her.”

The Bartender
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HIS LOOK: He lures the ladies in with his all black sexy outfit… finished off with a perfect pair of slip-resistant shoes.

HIS ATTITUDE: Who cares how he acts… he gets you drunk enough (for free) that you don’t even notice what he’s saying.

HIS ALLURE: He’s the only guy in the bar who’s NOT SOLELY there to pick up chicks, and so he’s more of a challenge. (Except, you realize much too late that he WORKS THERE IN ORDER TO PICK UP CHICKS… why else would a 30-something man be content to stay up until 5 a.m. 7 days a week and still live with his parents?)!!!


Know of any other "guys" to stay away from?


Jared said...

Although I would agree that dating Screech is generally a bad idea, for me it would have less to do with him being a "nice guy" than that he nearly pummeled a man to death on Celebrity Boxing and was caught on a sex tape engaging in the "dirty sanchez".

Chrissie said...

Exactly the point though... no one can be THAT nice!!!

It's when the true colors come out that the ladies begin to regret.

Ya know... like the whole sanchez thing;)

FCAMHC said...

So you have classified several different catagories of men and done a good job might I add. Of course some fall in between and out of the relm of your descriptions but for the most part you have it covered.

I think that guys know where they fall in all that because it is veyr much common sense. However, this is not the problem we have. It is the women we have a hard time figuring out. Can you enlighten us here?

Chrissie said...

Any particular question I can answer for you Mr. Fcamhc???

I might be of help... but I can't lump women into 3 categories quite as easily;)

Anonymous said...

3 female categories.



perpetually confused

Chrissie said...


Sarah said...

I'd like to group the bouncer in with the bartender!!!