Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Pink think, trinkets, and TP
“It’s like sending 2 aliens out to plan a bridal shower,” my friend said as we attempted to be “girly” and like frilly pink things.
That’s so not me.
I can’t pretend to like weddings, or pink plates, or tiny favors.
(What IS a party favor other than a piece of garbage that you actually have to PAY FOR???)
They will go straight from your home, into the guests’ garbage… only passing through your wallet on the way.
“Oh! Get these! These are PERFECT!!!” exclaimed my alien friend as she picked up BRIDE AND GROOM NAPKINS.
Yeah, NAPKINS with LITTLE PINK AND BLUE PEOPLE ON THEM.
After I cleaned up the pink plates, and the pink silverware…
After I tore down the pink balloons and put the paper doves and glittering hearts away…
I found a stack of ONE THOUSAND napkins on the table.
They were adorned with the “happy couple” and impossible to use at any other social function.
Unless you count the possibility of my own engagement… in which case I repeat “IMPOSSIBLE TO USE AT ANY OTHER SOCIAL FUNCTION!”
Conveniently and ironically for ME… I also ran out of some household “staples” after the bridal shower.
Ya know, like toilet paper.
Turns out those napkins are usable after all.
(I guess the perfect couple DOES have a place in my apartment... and their wedding dance involves a loud flush and swirling into the septic).