"Kids are the reason they make closets and duct tape."
Disclaimer: I love my friends' kids.
But, I'm just not THERE yet... Sure, I'll hold 'em, but the truth is, this is one girl still waiting for my Mommy Club invite, and at the same time, I'm praying my stork got the bird virus.
Until I experience the pink plus sign plague...
THOU shalt be known that: I just can't relate.
I have never experienced pregnancy cheese (as Karen put it)... AND THANK GOD!
Your "Tommy took his first step" story will be countered with my "Capo went doodie today, and it was a greenish, yellow color."
If you ask me to babysit, your "sleeping" angel may smell like a Mahoney's bartender. (Y should I stay home, if you get to go out? I didn't get knocked up :0 )
I reserve the right to skip comments like "That kids got a set of lungs" and come out with it: "I think it's best that you take him home now."
FINALLY, please remember, that crying, pooping, wild animal you call "baby" is ALL YOURS. At least for now...