Thursday, July 19, 2007

For now, your kids just aren't that interesting

"Kids are the reason they make closets and duct tape."

Disclaimer: I love my friends' kids.

But, I'm just not THERE yet... Sure, I'll hold 'em, but the truth is, this is one girl still waiting for my Mommy Club invite, and at the same time, I'm praying my stork got the bird virus.

Until I experience the pink plus sign plague...

THOU shalt be known that: I just can't relate.

I have never experienced pregnancy cheese (as Karen put it)... AND THANK GOD!

Your "Tommy took his first step" story will be countered with my "Capo went doodie today, and it was a greenish, yellow color."

If you ask me to babysit, your "sleeping" angel may smell like a Mahoney's bartender. (Y should I stay home, if you get to go out? I didn't get knocked up :0 )

I reserve the right to skip comments like "That kids got a set of lungs" and come out with it: "I think it's best that you take him home now."

FINALLY, please remember, that crying, pooping, wild animal you call "baby" is ALL YOURS. At least for now...


Sarah said...

My friends do have VERY cute kids... and lately, they have made me think that perhaps, I'll get over my SELF-stage soon.

And I do want kids, the point of this blog is, I just can't relate to that whole "MOMMY" thing.

(I hope I didn't hurt any feelings).


Chrissie said...

Aw! Sarah's kid-un-friendly blog came with a real, heartfelt disclaimer!!!

Notice, however that mine DID not.

(Although to be fair, none of my close friends have had kids yet so I'm safe... for now;)

Renay said...

I am the friend that can't stand kids. Whether it's because I don't know anything about them, or because they poop themselves, cry, scream, and are sometimes downright ugly, I’m not sure. My friends don't have any kids yet, but my coworkers bring theirs in all the time, and they are drawn to me like magnets & I have no clue what to do with them. But what really drives me crazy is when people boast about their kids. I understand that they are proud, but I cannot match their enthusiasm – bottom line is, I really don’t care! It may seem harsh, but I’m not really interested in when Billy took his first solid dump!

Sarah said...

I once told Renay I could picture myself totting a baby stroller, and she said, "BUT I don't think they let those into clubs." :)

miscellaneous mom said...

I have a kid and I STILL couldn't care less about stories about other people's kids. I think updates on the 'so cute' or 'sooo funny!' things their kids say are as interesting as someone telling me about what they dreamed last night.