Monday, July 9, 2007

The party that you aren't invited to


How do you juggle a new relationship and a deep-rooted friendship?

When I've fallen hard, I'm embarrassed to admit I've dropped the ball(s).

I've tried the whole "come with us" thing, but in the end, the third wheel becomes more like the flat tire... that drags behind.

The 3rd wheel becomes:

-- The person who rolls her eyes when you tell her all the cutesy things your man does for you.

-- The person who is a constant reminder that there's a party on Friday night, that you are missing for a quiet night at home.

But, when the newlywed phase fizzles out, it's that person who comes to your rescue and puts the air back in your tire.

Dane Cook's take on the 3rd wheel:
When you don't have love, it's like there's a party going on, and everybody was invited, except for you. And you just happened to be walking by that house in the rain... (sigh) "I wasn't invited to this party." But then, once you're IN love, that's like being inside that party, going "Where's my jacket? I wanna get outta here. where's my jacket?"

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dane Cook said that? hmmm, interesting that you would write about love and Dane Cook in the same article Bradshaw. Sounds to me like you have a thing for a former intern who might have sounded a bit like him...

Sarah said...

There's this trend going on with the commentors, especially the TWO males in particular, thinking that the posts are secretly about Chrissie and I being in love w/ them.

What's up w/ that?

Anonymous said...

well how could you not be, after you just spent a year working with one of them...withdrawls are normal sarah, just get used to it

Anonymous said...

just the thought of a "quiet night at home" on a FRIDAY night makes me ill...

isn't that what every other night of the week is for???

good, healthy relationships are supposed to energize the couple...

but in my many years as the "odd wheel", i've watched relationships suck the life out of my friends, making them lazy, boring old souls, hopelessly content with being lazy and boring.

chrissie is right: the "odd wheels" ARE the life of the party...

because somebody has to be.

Anonymous said...

Imho, there's no excuse to neglect your other friends or have a social life once you get into a relationship.

It can be done. The only problem's I notice that arise are your friends who unknowingly not calling you out purely in support of your relationship. i.e thinking that "maybe they both wanna spend some alone time".

Miscommunication i say. Never get so smitten that you start taking your friends for granted and all will be fine. As for the "third wheel" , just make sure if u call him or her out, the 3 of you just act like good friends but u can sneak a lil kiss when he/her isn't lookin... =D

Sarah said...

I hear people say that, or assume that too.

It's sorta true in the first month or two in a relationship, but now I find that I'm constantly asking my man, hey what's the gang doing this weekend. It's more fun having FRIENDS around than not, that's for sure.

RENAY said...

I am usually the third wheel, fifth wheel, seventh wheel - you name it, I'm the odd one out. But it's not because my friends coax me along on their lovey dovey dates...it's because all the men I seem to date work on the weekends, and I have no other choice but to be the third wheel on the couples outtings. In fact, I seem to have perfected the technique, and no longer feel awkward. So Sarah, third wheel away!!

Sarah said...

I think in our case it's the distance between Staten Island and Poughkeepsie, AND our pathetic bank accounts that get in the way of hanging out. Not really the Men in our lives. I always say to myself, I wish Renay was hear to watch Paradise Island w/ me, like the good ole New Paltz days.

RENAY said...

PARADISE ISLAND!!! HAAAAA!!! You just brought it way back! Well, at least we aren't so broke that we're collecting cans anymore...Third wheel or no, you're still my best friend. CHEEESSSYYYY but true

Sarah said...

Ditto <-- now that's cheesy