Friday, August 31, 2007

In honor of the day of the working man...

WHAT JOB WOULD MAKE YOU WANT TO SHOW UP ON MONDAY????

Would you be a candy bar inventor? Tropical island real estate agent? Would it be for a company that delivers gourmet meals & massages at lunchtime, free of charge? Are you allowed to share a cubicle with your pooch, hamster and 15 gold fish?
What would be your labor of love?

Here's my list of COOL jobs:

Caribbean sailboat captain -- No shoes or shirt required, just bring your Jimmy Buffett CDs. Mid-day cocktails and cigar a must. Parrot is optional, though highly recommended.

Cirque Du Soleil performer -- Remember when your parents told you not to jump on your bed? Why not join a company that encourages it? Hang upside down from the ceiling, while you are at it. Then go play with fire. Best of all, no poop scooping required, and lots of EYE CANDY! HubbaHubba.


Best beaches reviewer for the Travel Channel -- Samantha Brown, I'm coming for your job. So what if you have to be perky for 30 minutes a week. You get to discover the world!!! Just don't sign me up for Survivorman-That guy is cA-Ray-Z!

Mixologist -- Who can't appreciate a creative cocktail? And wouldn't you worship the person whose job it was to make your throat go "OooLaLa?" Sign me up for this glorified bartending gig!


NEED SOME MORE INSPIRATION? Check out CNN's list HERE

Kids for sale?

Ahh yes, Lord of the Flies.

I believe it was in 8th grade we read William Golding's masterpiece.

We all decided Piggy was a victim...
a victim of the society ran by children
that couldn't govern themselves
(but ultimately did a similar job to the adults out there).

Enter 2007 and a society hungry for more reality television.

We've been numbed with a line that is crossed in perpetuity...
So what is the next big thing to shock us?

Kid Nation.

CBS's modern day attempt to rival Golding's insights about a world run only by children (and the adult camera crews of course).

Some say it's disgusting, that it violates child labor laws, and that these kids (ages 8-15) are being exploited by CBS.

But here's the thing...
who is doing the EXPLOITING here?

CBS or YOU, the viewer.

Will You Watch?








(I couldn't write about relationships today everyone... after all... I don't HAVE ONE to write about. TV is my new boyfriend).

Thursday, August 30, 2007

"Human nature is constructed so that it gives affection most readily to those who seem to demand it the least."
-Bertrand Russell





agree or disagree?

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

"Quit" is not a bad word after all

Pink Floyd said it all with the title of their song "Comfortably Numb."

Routines are easy.

It's easy to watch television in baggy clothes and snuggle up to your puppy.

It's not so easy to shower (again) do your hair (again) shave (for once) and put on those heels that make you 3 inches taller.

But sometimes, the 4 hour dinner conversation that may stem from it on a Tuesday night is worth it.

The 9-5 mundane routine, followed by television, and early bedtimes always causes me to feel like I'm standing just on the edge of something...

whether it's something awful or something great... it's just out of my reach.

At the end of the day, say around 5:15... it boils down to whether or not I'll jump or be pushed,
but either way it will lead to something new.

Look here Routine -- I QUIT!



As I reclined in bed, watching my Tuesday lineup of wedding shows, I perplexed:

Is this routine getting old?


It was nearly enough to shake me from my half slumber and send me to the nearest 20-something hangout in search of something SUPER, something Sex In The City like. Nothing says glamorous more than hitting up a posh nightclub on a weeknight wearing a $500 pair of shoes.

In the end, I came to the conclusion that is NOT ME! (and not even close to realistic. A writer who can afford Manolo Blahniks?)

While my life may be set on the REPEAT cycle, it took a long time to configure this setting! Why mess with something that works? It's like the day I decided to put bleach in my whites... and ended up ruining my favorite tan skirt. Grey socks didn't seem so bad after all.

I pose the question to you. Is the 9-5 mold a precursor to this? If we set our course on mundane are we destined for unhappiness?

Is it time to QUIT the life that society makes for us? "There is an undeniable pleasure in ceasing to perform an onerous task. We deny ourselves unnecessarily too much of that pleasure, out of some abstract sense that quitting is bad." Read more from this NYTimes article HERE.

In contrast, Author David Myers says volunteering, religion, reflection, sleep, exercise, fulfilling work, thinking "happy," and a little progress every day should help you pursue the ultimate happiness. If only it were that easy!

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Why I don’t want to say goodbye to summer… yet.

1. S.A.D- It’s been proven, seasonal depression is caused by the lacking sunlight during the late autumn and winter months.

2. SWIMMING- Without any funds for the mid-winter vacation, the end of summer means the end of laying weightless in the pool. Instead, I’ll have to settle for filling the tub and gazing at the rubber ducky instead of Mr. Abs.

3. LONG DAYS- During the summer, there is time for a hike or a nice long walk when I get home from work. As the days get shorter, I will get WIDER because young women walking alone in the dark aren’t exactly safe.

4. MARGARITAS- Tequila makes me crazy year round, but I can’t see myself succumbing to a 20 oz. margarita and listening to Christmas Carols… and I hate Malt Cider.

5. It’s easy to be single in the summer time. Summer-things lend themselves to being alone… sunbathing, reading out under the trees, a pint of ice cream... It’s hard to get excited about warm apple pies and the holiday season when the only person sharing your slice or choosing the perfect tree is YOU.

I've fallen for fall


Last year, fall wrestled the bikini top and coconut body oil out of my fingers, while I kicked and screamed, "I hate you, I hate you." Fall meant only one thing to me -- no more swimming.

Things have DEFINITELY changed. Perhaps it was the lecture on skin cancer, or the extra fee to use my apartment complex pool, or the research I did on the sewage in the Hudson River/swim at your own risk report... whatever the reasons, Fall can't come soon enough.

The recent cloudy, chilled days made me want to:

1) Stir a cauldron of chili, brown oatmeal cookies, brew a pot of piping tea, slurp brothy soup.

2) Make my Christmas wish list, plan my Halloween costume.

3) Watch movies with thick blankets over the windows, curl up with a book under an afghan, cuddle with Capo, draw a bubbling bath.

4) Brighten my house with gourds, light apple pie and pumpkin spice candles.

5) Pull fuzzy socks up to my knees, get out my cable sweaters and penguin mittens.

So bring on the Fall and bring out THE SWEATY ARMPIT SMELL!!!!

Monday, August 27, 2007

One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish

DSC01357

"Look at that guy over there! He's hot!" -- Sarah
"Which one?" -- Chrissie
"The one in the blue button down and khakis." -- Sarah
"Oh, right. THAT one." -- Chrissie
-----------------------------
Alright. I admit it. "The blue shirts" aren't exactly setting trends with their individual style.
But SO WHAT!

Maybe they don't exactly stand out in a crowd, but that doesn't mean a man doesn't look FINE
in a collared shirt.

If worn right, the blue shirt hugs his muscular chest. The few undone buttons show off a much tighter white undershirt, which you know looks sizzling when he's just in his boxers.

Your eyes move down to his waist, where, if he's done it right, is a nice leather belt and a pair of dressy jeans. That, my friends, is the making of a well dressed MAN. One who knows that the Yankee Tees are for game day. Tank tops are for the gym. And sweaters are for holidays.

So bring on the BLUES (or red stripes), and take off the PINKS. If I wanted to date a girl, I would.

Pinky

The Guy: 6’3, mid thirties, and no wedding band.

He was what my mother would call “strapping.”

And he was wearing pink.

It’s nice to see a guy who is okay enough with his masculinity that he’s willing to wear the color once reserved for Barbie dolls and Polly Pocket.

Pink SCREAMS confidence.

And as long as it’s NOT worn by a guy with a blowout and popped collar

I think
that PINK
definitely works.

Friday, August 24, 2007

FLAMER or FLAMING HOT?


Seduction guru? The Mystery Method? I can feel my breakfast in my throat!!!!

Since when do we let guys think they can "trick" us into ATTRACTION by dressing like drag queen metal heads? Who memorize insults like "Nice nails, are they real?" followed by "Why don't you buy me a drink and I'll get the next one?" to get our phone numbers... but only if we "qualify."

5 ways this guy is hiding his true self under a pound of eyeliner:

1) He may look like he hails from Transylvania, BUT he was born in Canada! And his parents named him ERIK!
Erik James Horvat-Markovic. What's mysterious about that?

2) He admits "ERIK" used to be a dweeb. He "studied" women for 10-years and developed a system of seduction. So my question is, if this isn't the definition of creepy stalker then what is? Give him a biscuit, not a TV SHOW!

3) I like my guys to save the tricks for the bedroom, not to carry them around under their fur top hats. He calls it peacocking. I say it's a distraction from his insecurities!

4) LIES!!! ALL LIES!!! He'll do anything to impress you, including telling you fairy tales as if they were his real life. He's as real as a silicon boob!

5) MONEY. It's the motivation behind everything this guy does. He's marketing his image online, via DVDs, seminars, books and now on VH1. The real scoop is this magician couldn't cut it pulling rabbits out of a hat the rest of his life, so he feasts on easy targets, 21-yr-old virgins, who worship him like a GOD. At least he's not out mugging old ladies for their pocket books.


Just think, had he spent 10 years mastering the vanishing act, he would have actually been doing women A BIGGER FAVOR!


Ladies, what do you think, flamer or flaming? Men, would you wear makeup if it meant getting some action?

VIDEO "on openers" HERE
Season Preview of TOOLS, I mean on tools HERE

Thursday, August 23, 2007

The Pick-Up Artist

You may think I’m CRAZY, but I think this guy has GOT IT GOING ON.

Sure, he wears more make-up than I do, but he IS the pick-up ARTIST for a reason.

Or… even FIVE reasons according to Chrissie Lynn.

1. It’s all in the name!
This guy goes by “Mystery.”
Come on ladies, who would you rather talk to “John Smith” or MYSTERY!!???

2. He’s super tall.
This could be a Chrissie Lynn only rule, but when a guy walks in the room and you can see him over everyone else, you have to take notice.

3. The GAME pieces
He’s ready for a game fetch. One lady can steal his sunglasses, while the other can prance around in his fuzzy hat. When there’s so many things to steal off this guy, the usual awkward silences don’t have a chance. “So uh... where did you get that tiara?”

4. CONFIDENCE
This is THE thing that Mystery has going on. Regardless of his ridiculous attire, and his LARGE amounts of make-up… he exudes CONFIDENCE. And that is SUPER sexy .

5. The quasi-lisp
So he’s super confident AND tall, this guy NEEDS something a little goofy to make him endearing and he’s got it. You can’t pick it up all the time, but occasionally he’ll speak with a slight lisp. But it’s not the kind that would cause you to be covered in slobber after exchanging numbers and your favorite shade of nail polish… it’s the kind that makes you take a second to look and listen a little better.

After all… he is the “Pick-Up Artissssttthhhht."

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Creativity counts

That's the bottom pick-up line.

I'd like to play a little game with our readers today called:

Pick-Up Chrissie or Sarah

Go ahead, you know enough about our dating styles from this blog to know what pushes our buttons... so comment and tell us what YOU WOULD say to us to open your set.

(And a piece of advice, "Has anyone ever told you that you look like Hilary Duff will NOT work).

Whoever sends us the best pick-up line will get an honorable mention on the radio Monday morning when we chat with CJ and Annie on 96.1 Kiss FM.

So try and pick us up... I dare you;)

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Monday, August 20, 2007

Definitely, maybe... not

“He totally likes you.”

“You really think so???”

Pause.

“Well, I don’t want to say definitely but it seems that way.”


Maybe you’re sick of MAYBE and SEEMS and it MIGHT BE.

Maybe you just want to KNOW.

People have written entire books on the signs a guy is NOT interested in you, but what’s a woman to do when she wonders if a certain someone is looking for more than friendship?

It is in these cases, that such women can say, “GOD BLESS THE INTERNET!”
Because all one has to do is GOOGLE their question and POOF!

ANSWERS.

But what do you think are the OBVIOUS signs that someone is into you, and what do YOU do to show someone you’re interested?

Because maybe Mr. So&So is just nice to everyone...

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Miss US?

This past Monday we talked about The Cookie Cutter Relationship on 96.1 KISS FM with CJ, Annie and the rest of The Playhouse.

We'll be back on Monday August 27th to talk about more juicy topics.

(Come on... get out of bed even though it's early:)


Aphrodisiac?

GUY: “Want to do a body shot with me?”
ME: Absolutely not (has this guy seen my body)???

GUY: “Keep drinking then, you’ll do one.”
ME: “Eww.”

The above “eww” was followed by a complete about-face and I ignored the guy for the rest of the night.

Who SAYS that?


KEEP DRINKING so that your inhibitions go out the window and you’re left completely senseless, doing things you’d never have done had that last jager-bomb not gone down so smoothly???

KEEP DRINKING so that Mr. A** gets more attractive or seemingly smarter???

To this man, I’d like to say that alcohol tends NOT to be an aphrodisiac but is instead an A**rodisiac.

It won’t turn a girl on to you, the more you drink will only make you LESS appealing.

(Since I’d like to think, were you NOT drinking directly from a PITCHER of beer, you may NOT have said this).

Because a nice guy would NEVER say something like that.
And he would NEVER approach a woman with the “wanna do a body shot?” line.

Hasn’t this guy seen VH1’s THE PICK UP ARTIST yet?



(COMMENT and tell me the things you've said or did after too much of the a**rodisiac... and don't be shy since it's all ANONYMOUS;)

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Men who need a lifeline in the game show of love

-- He can't dance, so why does he try? Once vanilla ice shows off his homeboy moves, I give him a 50/50 chance of survival. Half the women will see through his geek squad exterior. For the other 50 percent, this beat-less bro can forget about capturing the rhythm of her heart.

-- This guy makes Pinocchio’s wood seem appealing. In this case, the woman will ask the audience, and in no time, she'll be on to your lies, and not on you.

-- Get this guy a hover craft. Because he refuses to leave his couch. Since his idea of romance is not lifting a finger, there's no rockets to the moon in this relationship. But women don't always see the obvious, even when he's yelling, "WHILE YOU'RE UP…" So she'll phone a friend, and next thing you know, the curb is his new couch.


Still don't know what women want? Well you don't need to be a millionaire to win this love quiz show. In fact, you can probably take a clue from the origins of the TV show that expanded Regis' already inflated career. The show is named after Cole Porter's song in which he sings "Who wants to be a millionaire? I don't. / And I don't 'cause all I want is you." That's how my man got me and I couldn't want anyone else!

"I really like you..."


BUT!

We all do it.

We all have deal-BREAKERS when it comes to dating.

Those little or not so little things that make us say NO WAY instead of YES PLEASE.

Here are the top 5 things that make Chrissie Lynn's deal BREAK rather than causing her to break off a piece:

1. Weird teeth- I'm not talking slightly crooked or cutely imperfect teeth, I'm talking severe snaggle, sharp, evil looking teeth. Or, no teeth.

2. A man who says, "Woman:" This is NOT a form of endearment, this is NOT acceptable to any woman with self respect... this is a chauvinist, disrespectful word used by cavemen. Cavemen are a deal breaker.

3. The One-Upper-Guy: You know him, he drives a fastER car than all his friends, he knows MORE celebs than anyone else on the planet, and his vacations, housES, and overall lifestyle is bettER than yours. Try impressing me with your wit rather than your possessions please.

4. Too-Much-Fur: Notice I did not say hair, I said fur. This means, the excessive amounts on his back as well as the excessive amounts of pet fur found on his fouton. Gross.

5. Foutons- They are evidence of the college-boy, no time for a real couch, or maybe no money. Either way, they are a deal-breaker because they are so uncomfortable he'll surely use that as an excuse to watch the movie "elsewhere" (like his bedroom) and that just makes him creepy.


Monday, August 13, 2007

Read the MEN-U


When you start messing with my dinner plate, I demand a FAST on all things considered “acceptable” on a date.

It’s not about how you like your steak.
Or if you prefer the portobello burger to the sirloin

It’s about the RARE woman who asks for what she WANTS rather than what that guy sitting across the table expects her to get.

A date should be about the MEN-YOU want.

And hopefully you’re looking for someone open-minded enough to consider what’s coming OUT of your mouth more important than what you choose to put IN it.

Forget the rice cakes, I'll have the cow!

"Ah, yes, I'll have the side Caesar salad and an ice water, please."

No, no NOOOOOO! This is all wrong.

You gotta order the cow to lasso the cowboy.

From the NYTimes:
What you order on your first date equates to much more than a meal. Apparently, it sends your date a message about your heart's appetite. See if you agree.

Ordering red meat on the first date sends a message -- I'm unpretentious, unneurotic and confident.
Ordering salad sends a different message -- unappealing mousiness.
Ordering chicken -- Plain jane.
Hamburgers -- Down-to-earth.
Shots of J├Ągermeister, on the other hand -- Guy's girl.

I agree and add this: Go for the quality meats in both cases!

But what about seafood? Maybe they just didn't want to go there....


Friday, August 10, 2007

So are you my boyfriend, or what?

You meet a guy, exchange numbers, go on a date, hit it off, talk on the phone, go on other dates, learn all about each other, decide you really like this guy and then find out he's not "dating" anyone, including you. He just wants to have some fun. [Enter screeching brakes noise]

Now what?

You start to repeat the last three months in your brain, wondering if you did something irritating, but you come up with zilch.

It's time to learn the truth. HE WAS USING YOU.

Think about it. He was sitting on his couch, playing video games, when suddenly he thought, I'm lonely. So he swapped the gym shorts for cargo pants and went on a mission, to find someone ---- or maybe just "some."

Fun. Dating is fun. I don't disagree. But isn't it more than a cheesy pickup line and a free meal w/ good company? Is the idea of courtship as modern as green refrigerators and orange shag carpet?

I say FUN is just the precursor to something much better -- LOVE.

Mr. Marriage

One of our commentators once pointed out that "women our age are dating for marriage."

Implying that women in their late 20s are on the prowl not for fun, but for the future instead.

Mr. Good Job and Great Looks isn't as important as his ability to drive a mini-van or his views on how many children make the perfect family.

Maybe women begin to judge a man's friends, not on how prone they are to making them laugh, but instead on how conducive their humor is to family barbecues or best man speeches.
But according to Chrissie Lynn...

This is NOT TRUE!

And this is NOT HEALTHY!

A 20-something woman can miss out on so many memories or experiences if she's solely searching for a husband.

Mr. Right-Now may want to do things with her that Mr. Forever never will.

If a woman is blinded by the white of her own impending wedding dress, she's not likely to see the possibilities in front of her that don't necessarily fit into the mold she's created for her future.

I say enjoy the PRESENT and don't hold every man to the standards of "husband."

Because that guy is sure to come along soon enough...

And if you make your decision correctly, you'll NEVER get rid of him;)

Thursday, August 9, 2007

Tinkerbell who?

There's a certain kind of guy out there who CAN'T break your heart.

I call him Peter Pan.

He's the man who likes you,
the guy who might even love you
but he's not "looking" for a girlfriend/wife/woman-at-all.

Call him the "eternal bachelor."
Call him "damaged goods."
Point out his "mommy" issues if you like... but one thing is still the same.

Finally!

It's not YOU... it's HIM.

There's a certain kind of comfort in this realization.
You really can't be cute, smart, or funny enough to make this guy change.

There is NOTHING you can do to make him the marrying-type.

And thankfully for your ego...

There is nothing ANYONE can do to change him.

But I wonder...
Does this guy really exist?

Or is he bound to leave you licking your wounds when he finds someone else...
Someone perfect enough for him to fly far, far away from Never Never Land.

Leaving you alone and still hooked...

???

Tuesday, August 7, 2007

What's wrong w/ shotgun weddings?


I'd like to point out that religious-prompted CELIBACY is one of the MAIN reasons MTV's series "ENGAGED AND UNDERAGE" exists. The show starts out with two pimply teens, holding hands in their high school hallway. 30 minutes later they are living in a handsome RV parked on their parent's front lawn -- as Mr and Mrs.

Meanwhile, I'm waiting for MTV interviewers to ask them the really BIG question. WAS IT WORTH IT?... But I don't think we really need a part II to see that their holy matrimony, like their house, never had a foundation.

I think there should be a balance between celibacy and sexual mountaineer, but if I had to pick one, I'd put on my hiking shoes over recycling my prom corsage for a wedding boutonniere. But that's just me.

Celibacy Counts?

I recently watched an episode of MTV's TRUE LIFE and the topic was, "I'M CELIBATE."

Few of the people on the show chose to do this for "religious" reasons.

They did it for other reasons...

One girl thought she had gotten a little too promiscuous and didn't want to "cheat on all of her boyfriends" anymore.

A certain guy couldn't "trust" his girlfriend after she was with another guy so all they did was scream and bicker at one another rather than have sex.

And one guy actually did chose celibacy after a "near death" experience in a vehicle accident. (Although he "failed" at his attempt a few times, so I don't know if he was actually practicing celibacy or suffering from a dry spell).

But what I want to know is this...

Do you think there is any point in becoming "celibate" or "abstinent" once you've opened the sexual floodgates?

And if you're not waiting "until marriage," what exactly ARE YOU WAITING FOR?

Monday, August 6, 2007

He had it coming...


Yeah, yeah Chrissie (and Confucius, who said: Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves”) We know revenge is BAD, childless, yadda yadda... But sometimes we are willing to open THAT can of worms, when there are WORMS in our lives. That's why there are sites like these:

An eHow article on Revenge

Revengelady

The Pay Back

Dontdatethis girl/guy

And, need I mention, that it worked for the NERDS.

What do you think, is it ever worth the risk to seek revenge?




An EYE for an EX

I've recently been giving a lot of thought to REVENGE and how it relates to relationships.

As far as I'm concerned, there is never, EVER an appropriate time to get revenge on someone you've dated because they've wronged you... it always borders on creepy.

There's no point in trying to get them in trouble with their new found love.

There's no reason to get them fired from their job because you know that they look at inappropriate web sites all day long.

There's no reason to try and ruin their name, because it just makes YOU look CrAzY.

Whether your ex cheated and left or flaked and moved on, it is not YOUR place to punish them.

Because in the end all you do is punish yourself by looking insane in the eyes of possible suitors...

Or at the very least it proves you cared more than they did.

Friday, August 3, 2007

EX-cuse me?

Oops, you said it.
You said his name.
That guy who broke your heart.
That guy who almost ruined your life.
That guy who you loved… before.

AND you uttered his name to the NEW GUY.

Some people might consider this a HUGE mistake, and that conversations about “the ex” just bring about jealousy and awkwardness.

But I don’t agree.

As someone who is friendly with all of her exes (well, except that ONE guy), I don’t think you have to make someone disappear once they aren’t your significant other.

And if your NEW guy can’t handle the utterance of a name from your past, then he’s not mature enough to realize that you lived before him.

So if he can’t handle it then maybe the answer is to find life AFTER him… soon.

It was an Ex-cident!

When it comes to avoiding EXCIDENTS...

Do: Take A Vow of Silence when it comes to the intimate details of your past relationships.
I don't want nor need to know:
-- "Your number."
-- What you loved about her.
-- Your special spots.
-- Your song.
-- Your inside jokes.
-- That her mother loved you.
-- That she regrets cheating on you, dumping you ...
-- That she rivals Rick James and his freakiness

Don't: Lie to me in the effort to uphold Oath No. 1
I do need to know:
-- If you are talking to her, even if she claims she mis-dialed you.
-- That you're over your past, so anything you can tell me without breaking Oath No. 1 is fair game.
-- If you are a repeat dater
-- If I'm a tweener.
-- If you are damaged goods.


IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO AVOID THE EX TOPIC COMPLETELY. However, if you have self-esteem and a healthy relationship, FEAR NOT :-0

Fear makes the wolf bigger than he is.

--------------

What are your "do tells" and "don't tells" when it comes to the ex?

----------------

Thursday, August 2, 2007

When to say 'I do

Sarah Lynn says:

1.) After he's seen her worst side, and she's seen his.

2.) When both have achieved their own personal goals and are ready to set new goals as a couple. E.g. graduated college, landed good job -- renovating a house, starting a family.

3.) Once they agree on the important things -- like where to live, to have kids, be holy rollers or lifelong partiers, etc...

4.) After the baggage has been opened and emptied (see THIS post)

5.) After each has found independence and happiness on their own. (This is NO. 1)

6.) If making it official is important to the couple (Caz it's not for everyone)

7.) If being a better person is something the other person makes you want to strive for.

8.) When both are mature enough to put in the time and effort to make it work.

9.) When just being a couple doesn't describe the love they feel. When two people know that they have found the person worthy of their life-long commitment.

10.) To celebrate their relationship with friends and family.


OK, enough with the Zzzzzz...
Here's a story.

There once was this girl, let's call her LuLu. She was going to marry a guy, DooDoo. But then DooDoo met a new LuLu, who I refer to as WhooWhoo, and left LuLu with a paid for wedding reception and no DooDoo. No worries tho. Within days, LuLu found a new man, Foofoo, and had a party there anyway, and NOW, LuLu is making plans to marry FooFoo.

This whole thing is poohpooh if you ask me.

True Story.

Saying "I DON'T

Once you fall into the “practically married,” category it might seem easy to say “GO FOR IT!”

I mean, WHY WAIT… right?

WRONG.
WRONG, wrong, WRONG, wrong, WRONG.

I ask, WHY not WAIT?

If you love someone enough to know you’ll be “together forever,” then what’s the rush to get “forever” started now? ? ?

I mean, how many happily married couples do you know?

And what makes you so sure that you will be “different?”

If you love one another enough to suffer through a relationship WHEN YOU DON'T HAVE TO… then what’s the point of that little piece of paper declaring you Mr. and Mrs. ?

You’ve already got it.
You’re IN.
So just enjoy it.

You have the best of both worlds, a relationship AND HOPE for the future that hasn't been muddled with reality, smelly diapers, and joint-checking accounts that are overdrawn.

Whether it’s for 2 years, 10 years, or 20 years...
The most important word involved isn’t marriage
It’s love.

Wednesday, August 1, 2007

The cookie cutter relationship -- how he's/she's been there, done that



The first date: His/her fav movie and take out food
The first kiss: In the garden by his/her house
The first vacation: His/her family's cabin in Vermont
The first I Love You: A moon lit night, under a sleeping bag in his/her backyard

But wait... all this seems strangely rehearsed. Perhaps it is because you are not the first to progress through his/her relationship MOLD, you are more like the 10th.

While there are certain perks -- at least he's/she's ironed out some of the wrinkles -- there's that lingering question -- am I special or am I filling in for his blow up doll?

Personally, I think it can't be helped. If you vacation at the Jersey shore each year, chances are, you're going to bring more than one gal/guy friend there. So ladies/men, just be happy that he/she brings ya ONE AT A TIME!

You can repeat, just as long as you rinse first!!

SPILL IT: Tell us if you're GUILTY of "SAME DATE, DIFFERENT GIRL/GUY"
AND/OR Tell us what should never be duplicated (like pet names and marriage proposals)

Here's my confession: Camping trips (done them with at least the last five bfs)