Thursday, September 13, 2007

A crash course on the iGeneration


(from HELIO)

You get a text from your boss = he's trying to be cool
You get a text from your coworker = booty call
You get a text from your college buddy = drunk again

Your boss has myspace = conducting background checks
Your mom has myspace = she's appalled by your actions

You get an e-mail from your co-worker = ill-advised booty call
You get an from your college buddy = bored at work

He's not interested if:
His auto reply says "I'm dead"
He always puts you on speakerphone
He tells you he's getting married on myspace

She's not interested if:
She changes her IM status to "Please stop"
She leaves you a voicemail about the joys of abstinence
She changes her IM icon to a picture of a can of mace

Emoticons 101
Guys shouldn't send other guys emoticons, unless they like the other guy. A lot.

(dedicated to my friend whose CLASSY boyfriend broke up w/ her by changing his myspace status back to single.)

11 comments:

Chrissie said...

WHOA, WHOA, WHOA... that's the ONLY clue he gave?

I guess it's better than "the guy you met last night" changing his status to "in a relationship" and putting up that pic he took of the two of you drinking coronas at the bar.

Not that that ever happened...

Sarah said...

That's scarier than the new Halloween movie! But I'm not so sure it's worse.

After you've been w/ a guy for several months, it's common decency to be given the "I like you, but not in that way" talk. Or she would have even settled for the "Your sister is hot, is she single?" to what she got.

He broke up w/ her by clicking a bubble.

Mario said...

I've read that Rudy Giuliani, while mayor, announced that he and his wife would be separating -- and that the announcement was the first official word his wife had of the separation.

And to think, if only he had had a MySpace page at the time, he could have avoided all the trouble he went to.

Anonymous said...

one time i met a girl at the bar and then did the whole "are you on myspace?", myspace-befriending thing.

during our (what i thought, harmless) flirting, she changed her status from "in a relationship" to "single". and her calls and emails to me became suddenly more frequent.

i don't mean to sound egocentric, but i think she broke up with her guy... for me.

this was going in a direction i didn't want. and i felt bad that she ended a fairly long relationship with a guy who was clearly smitten (all his myspace comments don't lie). and on top of all that, i refuse to be the catalyst for a girl to end an undesired relationship.

so, i was relieved to see, after a few "missed" calls, some broken attempts to hang out, and a general cool down in the flirting department, her status soon changed back to "in a relationship".

and shortly thereafter, i was booted from her friends-list.

gotta love myspace.

and before you accuse me of being some sleazy home-wrecker, you should know that i could have had my "needs" met by this girl, if only i led her on just a little further.

some guys do have a conscience against the "hit-it-and-quit-it" thing.

Anonymous said...

I never understood why anyone would want to go on MySpace. First of all, how desperate do you have to be to find friends online. Second, if you have friends, and/or are in a relationship why use MySpace? What's the point? Third, if you meet someone online and happen to hit it off and maybe get married, what do you tell your kids, that you met through the internet...classy! That's right up there to meeting your potential husband/wife at a bar. Finally, why do people let a vehicle like MySpace define who they are? I don't know about you, but my life is too busy and complicated as is without having to worry about how many friends I have on my MySpace page, or what my status is online. In my opinion, who needs it! Think about it? How many times has someone been offended because they didn't see themselves as a friend on your MySpace page. To them I have to say that you have nothing else to worry about than that? Just my two cents...

Chrissie said...

And to Anon#2:

1. Some people use Myspace to keep in touch with the friends they already have... it isn't necessarily a place to FIND new friends.

2. If you have friends or a relationship, you use myspace to stay in touch with people you may otherwise not correspond with. It's nice to see photos of your friends wedding/party/vacation without having to find time in your busy schedule to meet up and leaf through an album.

3.Who cares if how/where you met your future husband/wife is "classy?" If you meet someone worth committing to forever... things like bars and the internet shouldn't really matter, should they?

4.And although I think there are very few people who use myspace to "define who they are," those that do would be the same people who let other arbitrary things tell them how to live. So you might be able to find them on myspace... but you're sure to find them elsewhere too.

Sarah said...

Dear home wrecker,

Haha, just kidding.

I think you made the right move. On behalf of all the "can't-be-alone" girls out there, let me thank you for ... I can't believe I'm typing this ... not hitting it and quitting it. BTW, did you get that from Shakespeare himself?

Really tho. I am being sincere.
That girl seems a little pathetic.

Anyway, the point is, without MySpace you may have never known she was a "serial girlfriend." So hey, you DO gotta love MySpace :-)

Chrissie said...

hmm... although you say that your flirtation was "harmless" you were obviously aware of the fact that she was in a relationship at the onset of such flirtation.

so i wonder.

what type of girls are you picking up at the bar???

serial daters who are likely to help you with your "needs."

i tend to think that, if she's prone to such flighty attempts at dating, she may have just wanted to hit and quit you too...

Sarah said...

Reasons why I love myspace:

1) e-invites: friends keep me in the loop by sending out mass invitations to their bbqs! and I them!

2) cell crashes: twice I requested my myspace friends to e-mail me their phone numbers.

3) photos: I want to know if I look better than my 10th grade rival.

4) shameless promotion of the odd couple. how do you think we got 30,000 hits since March? It's not those FABULOUS radio commercials

5) It's easier than talking on the phone.

vanessa said...

Myspace is ALSO great for networking. Although not many people may use it for that, it creates a search engine, and if you happen to be in music/video production you can find other qualified people near you to work on projects with that you may never have known existed.

I had a girl msg me that wants me to work on her music video.

So anon #2 although there may be a lot of desperate, immature, needy people that like to equate the value of their existence to how many more friends they have then you, most of us have a myspace to poke fun of those people. Or at least I do.

Anonymous said...

well, if she just wanted to hit-and-quit me too, then i guess i dropped the ball on that one.

silly me, even considering feelings...