Thursday, September 6, 2007

Trust issues, or instinct?

After opening up (somewhat) to a potential suitor we can be struck with the OH NO syndrome.

The OH NO what have I DONE this time syndrome.

Sure, "they say" we’re never happy if we don’t take risks, but what about if we do and then we regret it... a lot?

I’m wondering if my reaction (panic) is “normal” or riddled with warning…

Because after recently letting my guard down I immediately had a nightmare.

I had a nightmare that Mr. Guy-Who-Made-Me-Open-Up was married.

In my dream, he also had 2 children, one of whom was 10 years old (how do people hide that sort of thing)??? His wife looked like the opposite of me... tall, brunette, and super thin.

And after I showed up at his house and demanded an answer...
he calmly told me that it didn’t matter if I knew or not because I was disposable.

I drove off, peeling out of his driveway crying
and telling myself I’d NEVER do THAT again.

Needless to say, I woke up wondering...

was this dream evidence of trust issues

or a warning to trust my instincts?

(I’m shaking my magic-8 ball as we speak, but what do YOU think)?


Anonymous said...

Well Chrissie, if there's one piece of advice that I like to give my fellow woman it's this: TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS!
Unfortunately (because the instinct usually kicks in, in a negative situation) our womanly instinct is 99.9% of the time CORRECT!
So even if we try to ignore it, or play it off as 'paranoia' the hard truth of the matter is, is that we're wired and given this instinct for reasons! They're really meant for when we have children, but they also come in handy in other situations; especially involving men.
And some are more extreme than others. Some you can feel in the pit of your stomach (also known as the 'gut feeling') but others are more subtle that just result in the 'I have a feeling something just isn't right' But nonetheless, your instinct is telling YOU the truth! It's doing you a favor by showing you the situation for what it really is, even if your eyes and heart want to see something different.

It's a gift, and a blessing, but at the same time a burden. But hey, if we listen to it, it can save a lot of heartbreak and the 'I wish I just listened to what my instincts were telling me.' (regret)


Chrissie said...

You know what anon... I was afraid someone would say that;)