Friday, September 14, 2007

Why I traded in "hoochie" for LL Bean stretchy pants

I was enraged, no infuriated. I was embarrassed. My whole body rattled. My fierce expression froze.

While everyone got a memo on dress code, my LESSON was delivered loud and clear -- and in person.

"We want you to do well in this company," I was told. "That means you shouldn't show your midsection."

Midsection? I glanced down. Oh no, somehow I had worn my Britney Spears Halloween costume to work that day. (That link was for you Sean.)

Wait, no I hadn't. Really, I picked out a pair of baggy black corduroys that sat comfortably on my hips, and maybe a minute bit of skin showed -- if I waved my arms over my head (which I do all the time at work).

"Yes m'am," I muttered, like a scolded pre-schooler, and walked out of her office, tripping on my tail.

At that moment, I felt that injustice had been served. Why was I being singled out, when others came to work in wrinkled T-shirts and flip-flops?(mostly the sports writers) I jumped to conclusions: She hates me. That's what it is!

Fast forward 3 years.
I'm trying on some pants I used to wear to work. They are so tight, I had stopped breathing. Hmmmm.... Either I gained weight (which I refuse to believe) or MY BOSS WAS RIGHT.

OMG, I used to be the workplace hoochie mama, I thought, as I frantically reached for the remote to compare my style w/ those on "What Not To Wear."

After a consultation with some friends in their late 20s, I found out that the CLOTHING EPIPHANY is something most women go through, usually around my age. Except for maybe this one.

I felt relief knowing that others my age have flipped through the LL Bean catalog ooohing and awwwing over frumpy sweaters and stirrup stretchy pants.


Chrissie said...

I knew when I purposely bought "mom jeans"(the kind that come up to my actual waist) and chose to wear them with LONG shirts that I was finally growing up.


Sarah said...

I'm wearing my mom jeans today. they are extra baggy and thick. Amazingly, I have received more compliments on these than any other pair. Even from the BF!

Anonymous said...

There is a solution. Get as much clothing as you can with your business logo on it. If they don't like it, it's not your fault. You didn't buy it.

Sarah said...

I don't think I could get away with wearing the kid-sized POJO POLO, even if I looked like "MS. July" in a company calendar and increased newspaper sales. But I may be wrong. After all, we're working on our bikini odd couple logo! Stay tuned.