Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Friends WITHOUT Benefits

"You're only as good as the company you keep."

Although it is usually true
it is not always flattering.

We all have them... those friends without benefits.
Whether they've remained our friends through time because of a past rich with memories or they continually pop up in our lives out of chance...

We openly accept who they are
in spite of their badness.

But if we don't condemn their behavior...
Do we in turn condone it?

Maybe it's not our job to punish people for their bad character traits.
Maybe it is okay to accept that certain people in our social circles don't exactly shine.

But what does that say about US?
Our virtue?
Our goodness?

Because if we continually see and accept the bad...

How can we expect to feel good?

6 comments:

vanessa said...

I think those of us that continually allow people with chracter flaws into our lives do so partially because of past history, but also because I think that sometimes I'm too good, for my OWN good. Knowing how it feels to be shunned, unaccepted, and have had people turn their nose up at you, just feels plain bad. And even though you know this person isnt any good for your psyche, doesn't make turning your back to someone you grew up with any easier. But eventually you realize that there is no helping them, they have to want to help themselves. The best thing you can do before you start to obssess about everything you've ever done for them and the fact that they still dont appreciate it, is to stop answering the phone when they call,dont tell them where you live, and hopefully they'll find another lifeguard, and maybe you can find some more deserving friends.

Chrissie said...

hmm...

i guess this sort of goes back to my post about letting go.

where does the good go when you finally realize you don't want this person in your life???

no matter how badly we may WANT to not answer the phone it's easier said than done...

Mayonaze said...

Or just use text messaging... sometimes that's the only way people feel comfortable discussing their feelings.

Chrissie said...

It might not be the best way of communicating...

BUT! at least with text messaging you can have a written archive of people's BS.

Sarah said...

There are text messages and then there are TEXT messages.

text message: "hey come to my party tonight! c-ya"

TEXT MESSAGE: "I'd rather lick chewed gum off a NYC park bench after a bum sat on it, with a bare apple, than see you again."

Both are effective and appropriate, I think.

vanessa said...

I don't know where the good "goes", but if this person is such a negative, was there ever any current "good" to begin with. Forget about the good that was there during childhood, thats just a memory and doesnt reflect the relationships current state.. The good comes after you realize that the person in your life is more of a burden than a blessing, and thankfully you dont have to bring yourself down anymore knowing that you have no control over what that person brings upon themselves. It's their duty to fix themselves, not yours.