Wednesday, October 3, 2007

"If you lie with dogs you get fleas"

Or (in the case below) a drug habit.

Me: What do you think of that guy over there? I just gave him my phone number. Friend: Who G.? Me: Ugh! not G. I've seen more attractive things in feminine hygiene trash units. The one NEXT to him, with the hat. Friend: I dunno that one, but I do know G. and he's a goober. Just be careful ok? Me: Okay.

(Skip to the good part)
G. was not only a goober, he belonged in the Goober Hall of Fame. G. continued to prove this point during the course of hatboy and my courtship. Then the worst happened. Hatboy, who had the intelligence of a squash, turned his nose into a vacuum cleaner and G. supplied the dirt. Hatboy and I couldn't breakup soon enough.

And so, I say, there should be a warning label on men who have friends who fail the upstanding citizen test. My version would go something like this:
Being friends with goobers is an extremely dangerous occupation that should be prohibited by girlfriend law #DR227.

(Disclaimer: this situation happened a long time ago, in a faraway land, and was not meant to hurt any froglike princes or maidens. Offended parties should contact the Odd Couple Authorities Immediately).


Chrissie said...

I'm not sure I've ever heard the term "goober" used to describe that guy...

It seems too cute and innocent a name to illustrate some of the guys I've met.

My sister and I like to name people more appropriate things, like "SATAN" or "THE SPAWN OF SATAN."

It brings with it a little more punch;)

And I'm sure if your friend had said, "He's Satan... just be careful" that you'd be more likely to stay away.

Sarah said...

I see what you are saying, but he wasn't Satan! I looked for horns and a tail, but what I found was a wife and a kid.

He WAS a goober -- the funny, drunk guy who everyone wanted to hang out with. His pitchfork was invisible, but it sure did a number on my relationship.

Chrissie said...

invisible pitchfork eh???

(sorry... i'm just picturing one so tiny :P)!