Friday, October 5, 2007

Petting my peeves again

Things that bother me on a “date.”

1. One-sided conversation:
ME: So, what do you do exactly?
This question is answered, in a 15 minute rant about your “job.”
After finishing your story about “work” you continue off on some other tangent about YOU.

2. The obligatory touching.
Face it, when you’re on a date you’re wondering “why isn’t he/she touching me?!!”
But then when your date does… it’s all about “why can’t he take his hand off of my leg now… it’s getting all slimy… and what’s with the TAPPING???"
I’m a woman, not a set of drums.

3. The check

You asked meyou pay. I suggest that I pay… you refuse to let me. This is all fine and very 2007.
DON'T throw me the “you can get the drinks afterward line."
(This seems nice enough... except the movie was 12 bucks for both of us, and you just drank an entire bottle of Tanquerey).

4. The “walk to the door.”

I know why you’re walking me there… it’s not chivalry… it’s not caring… it’s your attempt at seeing how far I will let you in.
***DISCLAIMER*** In spite of your intentions, YOU'D BETTER WALK ME TO THE DOOR!!! EVEN THE CAB DRIVER DOES IT! (Remind me to blog again about how nice Cabbie's are).

5. The obligatory “kiss” goodnight.
I don’t want to.
I just spent the last 3 hours watching a movie with my mouth closed.
I haven’t had a sip of anything non-alcoholic to drink in at least that long...and while you’re smacking away LOUDLY on your piece of Trident, you’ve yet to offer me a piece.
I do the hug…
I give you the cheek…
and there is somehow STILL THAT AWKWARD ALMOST-HEAD-BUTT that means you went for it… when I didn’t want you to.

***DISCLAIMER #2*** Not all dates I have been on have been terrible. So if you're feeling vain, read THIS POST and feel better.

1 comment:

JasonP said...

Re. #4: Damn. Busted!