Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Preparing your place

“Do you want to come over here, or watch the movie at your place.’
“Uh, you can come over here, that works for me.”

A quick scan of the apartment I share with ME proves IT DOES NOT WORK.

At least not without an hour or two of preparation.

The things you must take care of, if he's COMING OVER

1. Cat litter: Sure, you scoop daily, but the last thing you want him to think when he walks in the door is, “I smell cat… she IS the cat lady who lives all alone.”

2. The sheets: If you like him, change em, if you don’t, leave a pair of dirty socks near your pillow to prevent any “mistakes.”

3. Make up: All products that “enhance” your beauty should be out of sight, let him think you naturally look like a cover girl, rather than the chick who keeps them in business.

4. The Fridge: A bunch of condiments and a half-empty bottle of chardonnay do not scream, “SHE TAKES CARE OF HERSELF.” Buy some fruit and pretzels in case the man needs a snack or you do. It’s better to whip out the bowl of grapes instead of a bowl of Ramen Noodles in front of him.

5. The booze: If you have “a half empty Brita water filter,” Michelob Ultra and myriad bottles of wine, he may think you also have a drinking problem. Buy some orange juice and diet coke to even out the “spread.”

6. The towels: If he’s staying over, he’s going to want to shower in the morning. Offering him your damp, yesterday’s-mascara-ridden towel isn’t exactly hospitable.

7. The soap: Have a bar of something in there in addition to your “Extra Creamy Body Rinse” scrub. The last thing you want is for him to emerge from your steamy bathroom, smelling just like you.

8. The computer: SHUT IT DOWN if your desktop is a photo of the two of you, and you’ve only known him 2 weeks. What he doesn’t know can’t creep him out;)

9. The music: Maybe you rock out to Missy Elliot in your free time, but blaring “Get your Freak On” when he walks in the door may freak him out.

10. The mood: Don’t go overboard with the candles. A few for lighting and scent are fine, but it’s not necessary to light every one you own, unless you’re planning a séance.

What are some of the things YOU do to “prepare” your home (or yourself) before you have company?


vanessa said...

I always make sure to pick up the dirty laundry before anyone comes over. I have a bad habit of leaving my dirty clothes where ever I take them off.

Oh, and I always make sure the bathroom sink is clean, because no one wants to see the 2 day old toothpaste plastered to the side of your sink when they go to wash their hands.

I also watched this movie where the girl baked choc chip cookies before her man came over because it made the house smell nice, made her look like betty crocker, and they had a snack for later.

Good idea. Always keep a roll of premade cookie dough in your fridge chrissie!

The best way to a mans heart is through his stomach. Why else would I have learned to cook so well :)

Chrissie said...

i'm not one to advocate the "fake-y" betty crocker thing, i'd hate to see the disappointment on the guys face when i burn the cookies in my tiny oven and refuse weeks later to eat anything that i myself have prepared...

a few clean towels is my style, baking... not so much;)

Sarah said...

I say put Snickers bars in your litter box. REY did this to me when we lived together. At first, I'd get upset that the box was dirty, but when I'd go to scoop, I'd crack up!

Pranks are also a must when two people share their homes!