Monday, October 8, 2007

WANTED: Boyfriend

Top 10 signs you now actually NEED a boyfriend:

1. Living on one post-college income is impossible. You’d like to ask your credit card company to stop increasing your limits to tempt you and to instead hook you up with telemarketer-guy (at least he’s got a job)!

2. Weddings, parties, BBQs galore! Sure, it was cute to bring your girl-best-friend to prom when no one asked you, but now everyone in your family is beginning to think you’re… gay.

3. You’ve exhausted nearly all feminist literature and know “YOU CAN DO IT.” But you realize you don’t want to do it... alone.

4. You’ve learned THE TRUTH thatwell… cats aren’t as cute as dogs.

5. You created your own little landfill in the back yard to dispose of all those batteries… even the environment is suffering.

6. Your electric bill has gotten MUCH HIGHER because instead of reaching over for that Spooner-Man when you have a nightmare, you have to turn on all the lights in your apartment to make sure a masher hasn’t come to get you.

7. Sure, “pizza and movies” sounded like a dull existence… but now sans boyfriend you have no idea what’s actually playing at the theater. Instead you know the VH1 Saturday night line up… and all of Brett Michael’s girlfriends on a first name basis.

8. The term “Single-Serving” depresses you.

9. The “CHANGE OIL SOON” alert on your car means a phone call to dad. (A phone call to dad means the conversation about being gay again).

10. You know you need a boyfriend WHEN!!! You’re reading this… and agreeing with me;)

***Comment and tell me why I need to shut up and enjoy myself***


Anonymous said...

You're Gay!

Chrissie said...

HA! I'm not exactly sure why this post led you to that conclusion... but thanks for making me smile a little bit.

And I mean a little bit.

madelena said...

haha I love those awkward family conversations..
"Hey, do you have a boyfriend yet?"
"No, not yet."
"Any prospects?"
"That would be.. a no."

Especially at functions. Everyone's there with a date, or waiting for their date and you're there well.. alone.
I actually don't mind it most of the time because I'm not in the mood to cater to a man right now, but every once in a while that special someone would be nice.

Especially when you hear funny noises and you're too scared to get out from underneath the covers (yes, I still do that).
OR when you need a spider killed! I hate spiders...

Chrissie said...

Agh! The SPIDERS!!!

My friend has gotten so used to killing them herself (despite her SERIOUS fear of them) that she can now spot one from a mile away...

Although I don't know if the 2 gallon container of insecticide with a spray gun is REALLY necessary;)

Anonymous said...

I completely agree with everything you said. My best friend and I have gone to so many things together, people are starting to ask us if we are a couple.

On the other hand, I'm really enjoying my single life and not trying to make arelationship happen when it's not ready.

It's such a double-edged sword.

Michael said...

Single...because all the men over 15 are not, well, over 15.