Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Why are you wearing so much clothing? It's Halloween!

Halloween is the one night a year when girls can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it. --Mean Girls

Well folks, I googled until I got finger sores, however, I cannot prove that a man started this slutty costume phenomenon. Despite this, I'm on a mission to persuade women to take a freaking hint from our weather-appropriately-dressed male counterparts, and go for the Gorilla Costume this year! Better yet, point out to your man, it's THAT much better when he wears the dress!

That's right! BACK AWAY from the SWEDISH BIKINI MODEL outfit and finding something more suiting... Something that says brains and not boobs!

Here's my suggestions:

1. Smarty Pants -- glue some Smarties candies on your pants (yes, you have to cover your legs, sorry.)
2. Bad Spinach -- green outfit with leavy stuff, maybe an eyepatch labeled "ecoli". (nothing says sexy like ECOLI -- just check out my sentimental sediment post from Monday.)
3. One Night Stand -- cardboard box and a lampshade. (see you CAN send THAT message with out fishnets)
4. Wear all white, except for black lettering on your shirt that says "Size Doesn't Matter." Make sure you look all innocent. And if anyone asks, just tell them you're a --- little white lie.

More awesome ideas here! What's your favorite???


richie said...

yes, its assured that for a man or lesbian Halloween is a great opportunity to look at- and even try to score with- all these otherwise wholesome fashioned women who transform into a more care free spirit about being sexy. Its fun! Yet, this sexy-back trend has, like the mythical vampire, sucked the historical and cultural meaning out of yet another holiday, bringing it in line with almost everything else nowadays that revolves around Americas two new national colors- pink and green.
Should we blame it all on Elvira? Cant wait to see her reality show!

Chrissie said...

i am SO going to be the little white lie.

Anonymous said...

If you really wanted to be scary, you could go as Shinske.

Sarah said...

I went and bought the material for my costume -- Here's a hint: Yellow felt. White felt. Felt glue.

Here's another hint: It's not someone who works here.