Tuesday, November 13, 2007

The Break Up: REQUIRES ACTUAL RELATIONSHIP

"So are Chrissie and _________ still together?"
FRIEND: "Uhh... wait, what?"
"Chrissie and ________, they were a couple for awhile right? Are they still seeing each other?"
FRIEND: "Um, no, no they aren't... at all."


The above conversation was followed by my friend coming to me and saying, "HA! Guess who's your EX boyfriend?!"

My thoughts:
If HE was my ex BOYFRIEND, then I really do want to stay single forever.

To me he was:

1. A Jerk
2. Selfish
3. Disposable <-- based on his ability to so readily "dispose" of me. 4. Ambition-less 5. An example of "poor judgment." So to hear... that to him, I was his "EX GIRLFRIEND," made me laugh.

Because I think that there are a few things that need to take place in order to be "In a Relationship" for real.

And so, not every encounter needs to end in the proper BREAK UP (email or otherwise).

SIGNS NO BREAK UP IS NECESSARY

1. When you call to "end it," he doesn't know who you are, "Wait, the girl from LAST night?"

2. Your ONE date consisted of contrived conversation, no touching, and minimal fun.

3. When he went in for "the kiss," you turned your head and coughed.

4. His relationship status on varying social-networking sites is, "Married." You, however, are NOT HIS WIFE.

5. A series of emails, phone conversations, and "group dates," ended in absolutely nothing. This guy is your FRIEND, not your MAN... don't make things "awkward" by ending NOTHING.




Comment below and let us know if you've ever had someone you weren't WITH try and break up with you anyway:)

3 comments:

tnmiller said...

an odd couple myspace?!!
three words:

new
friend
request

!!!

Gordon said...

Ok first off it was three, yes count it three dates. And do not act like the circus wasn't fun! That damn lion threw up cause everyone was feeding it peanuts. How was I supposed to know you didn't want a kiss? You were playing with your damn keys and kept saying umm! Have you ever seen HITCH? It's one of the exact signs for kiss request. You said my “Bod” cologne had made you cough, and the next time your hair got caught in my awesome matching diamond earrings and slicked back gelled hair (you know when it’s real good it should look like your head has a pointy cage on it to protect and contain your brain) if you didn’t want to make out then FINE. Finally the reason I listed my self as married was because I thought this was going somewhere…. And the reason I remain married is maybe I am not yet ready to move on :/ But whatever, you’re a Selfish Jerkface! Guess who isn’t invited for thanksgiving? Yeah you got it! But seriously if your home maybe we should grab a drink or something……

Chrissie said...

that comment is ridiculous GORDON!

;)