Top 10 reasons emailing is better than dating
1. There is no awkward, obligatory kiss goodnight. (No more quiver lips or beer breath)!
2. You can tell how smart a guy is without having to actually sit through an entire, painful meal with him. If he says things in his emails like "I lik u, want to see a moive?" You can turn him down... before it's too late and he's licking you after watching Kong.
3. You can time his responses to measure his wit without painfully awkward silences where you have to stare... blankly... at his quivering lip you'll have to kiss later.
4. If he types things like "My last girlfriend is a crazy psycho, I HATE her" you can immediately delete him from your mailing list... rather than enduring a scary ride home in his 1990 pickup.
5. You can ask him if he lives at home with his parents and not see him flinch at your audacity. You have the right to know... if it works out, you might have to share a bed with his little sister.
6. You can test his honesty by sending him links that you know DON'T work and see what he says when you ask "What did ya think of that thing I sent you?"
7. You can forward his cute responses to all your friends without making him get on the phone to them with you saying "Come on baby... tell her what you said to me!!!"
8. You can send a "for some reason your stuff keeps going in my junk mail" message to those guys you no longer want to send email to. Hell, you warned him right??? He won't sit home and wonder why you haven't messaged him if he lives in the perpetual land of "DID SHE GET IT?"
9. You can forward that REALLY creepy message to your boss to flag him for harassment. HELLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOO paper trail!
10. Who needs flowers when instead you get that cute little envelope popping up on your desktop?!