"If one or both of you is determined to change the other person, if you are committed to forcing your partner to be a certain way, you are not in love with your partner. You are in love with an idea about who and how he is supposed to be. You are in love with a fantasy you expect your partner to fulfil."
It's been said a thousand times before, you can't change the person you're with, no matter how hard you try.
But I still don't think that keeps people from trying.
And while I don't think you can alter a person's innate qualities, there are a few things that can be altered with a little "suggestive selling."
1. Hair: Whether it's on his face or on his head, gentle suggestions that begin with "You know what would be really sexy..." often seem to bring about subtle little changes that keep things interesting. (Although, you may still find that some men hold onto their long locks just tick you off)<- TGH.
2. Clothing: Again, with gentle suggestions that include the word "sexy" you might get Mr.Baggy-Pants to invest in a nice, tighter pair of jeans that make his _ _ _ look perfect.
3. Eating habits: If your man loves fatty, greasy foods, and you're sick of it making YOU a fatty, it's nothing that a little cooking (and complaining) can't fix.
But there are those other things...
You can NEVER change:
1. Reading habits: You can't make a man who DOESN'T read, read. Buy him all the magazine subscriptions you like, but he's not going to pick up your favorite novel just so you have something to talk about.
2. Dependency "issues:" You can't turn a mama's boy into a manly man no matter how hard you try. So if he's used to mommy making his twin bed, then you're going to have to fold her sheets once he finally moves out (... if he ever moves out;)
3. "Hobbies/Habits" If he collects baseball cards or porno magazines... or you're sick of finding his chewed gum on the night stand, get used to it. Those "little things," that don't seem like a big deal in the "beginning" end up being those things that blow up into arguments toward the "end."
So while yesterday we were discussing the idea of "changing yourself for you," today's topic is changing yourself for HIM (or her).
Can it be done?