Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Turkey for two?

Once you're married, it's easier to determine what holiday plans should be, and if you can't make a decision you can always rotate year to year and visit the in laws.

But in a relationship that's not quite so set in stone, the holidays can bring out the all important questions of:

1. Should we stay apart and see our respective families?
2. Try to mix up our day by seeing both and eating two dinners?
3. Pick one family to visit (with the larger spread) and disappoint the other?
4. Fight about it, break up, and get back together in January?

Once we've established ourselves as part of the other's life, the holidays became more convoluted.

And we can't all spend the holiday weekend in a glorious cabin, playing charades and checkers the way they do in the movies.

In the holiday spirit that Sarah's previous post has THRUST upon us, share your stories of holiday drama (or trauma) as it relates to the all important question:

Whose turkey should we eat?!


vanessa said...

Where you spend the holidays during a newly formed relationship all depends on how your perspective families celebrate them... in my opinion at least.

If your family is strictly "family only" and takes the holidays seriously, you may want to fly solo to avoid the ultra-personal questions aout the seriousness of your relationship- Questions that the two of you may have not even discussed.

If your family has a casual "the more the merrier" take, you may be more apt to bring him/her along to see how they mesh with your family. If your family is cool enough not to ask when your getting married or how many kids you want during the first meeting, you'll probably be more relaxed and have a better time.

I certainly dont think you'd want to have 2 dinners. Meeting the new beau's family is nerve wrecking enough, then to have to do it twice, and just feel rushed wont be good either.

Either pick one house, or get together with friends and have your own thanksgiving. If none of you know how to cook, go to a nice restaurant.

The holidays are about spending quality time with the people you care about. As long as you accomplish that it shouldn't matter where you eat, or even if you eat turkey... 'cause I know i'll be eating ham.

Chrissie said...

at the risk of sounding like a complete grump, i never really liked the holidays.

like birthdays, they are a time when we're supposed to be "happy."

i hate the pressure of pretending to be happy.

i'd much rather have a big fancy dinner with my family in march to avoid all the unnecessary, socially constructed pressures.

if you fight at the dinner table, people might remember you as "the girl who ruined thanksgiving."

if you fight over dinner, in march, no one is going to hold it against you.

"remember last march 13th, when chrissie freaked out because there wasn't any butter for her bread."

not that i plan on making a scene, but i'd like to have the ability to without ruining everyone's "holiday."


vanessa said...

hahaha. Maybe you should just skip thanksgiving and have your man take you out for a steak dinner.

That way the pressure if pleasing the family is off, and you dont have to "pretend" to be happy. Just Be.

Sarah said...

I say everyone spends the holiday with their own family. If you have kids, rotate them year-to-year. You're MARRIED. You see each other everyday. Why do you HAVE to sit next to each other at the Thanksgiving table?

Mario said...

I have always spent Thanksgiving with my family.

Number one, they put out a really good spread. Number two, my policy is, if you're married, you and your spouse are a unit for such family-social occasions -- that's part of what marriage is.

If you're not married, all bets are off.

It may seem a bit mercenary of me, but I'm not going to take the chance of enjoying a substandard holiday dinner elsewhere, if I haven't obligated myself by "tying the knot."