Monday, December 31, 2007

Bringing in the year


10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2 ............ HAPPY NEW YEAR

The bar erupted.

"ERRRRANNNNTTTTT" went the noisemakers. "Smooch smooch" went the lovers. "Click clank" went the champagne classes.

And "GULP ULP" went my boyfriend.

Not realizing my 29-year-old would turn into a frat boy at the stroke of midnight, I closed my eyes and went in for the kiss. What I got was an elbow to the face.

J.'s first 2004 thought was "Yum. Corona." He sucked it down without pause. Meanwhile all the other couples were canoodling.

I wish I could say J. made it up to me in 2005. But after being stood up at Oasis in New Paltz, my 2006 resolution was to never let another loser ruin my fun.

In honor of J. and my other experiences, I've put together a WHAT NOT to do on Dec. 31st list together. Share your own advice in the comments section.

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A) Don't drink out of glasses that have been given to you by strangers. I did this once and ended up the first Benedictine Hospital patient in 2003.
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B) Don't leave a good party to see an ex-flame. It will be a scorching mistake!
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C) You can't do a U-E on the Mid-Hudson Bridge to avoid unfriendly men in uniform.
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