Friday, December 21, 2007

Chrissie-Mas Rants

Tis the season to be jolly, or in the case of Chrissie Lynn, significantly ANNOYED.

The following things have tested my Christmas spirit and ultimately turned me into Scrooge.

1. NEIGHBORS: The plow comes, I move my car so he can clean my spot. I park in my spot, I work a 12 hour day, and I come home to my neighbor PARKED IN MY SPOT because THEY WERE TOO LAZY TO SHOVEL THEMSELVES OUT in time for the plow. (Keep in mind, “my spot” is the furthest from the front door, because I was NEIGHBORLY enough to let the people who lived their longer have the better spots). NOT ANYMORE!

2. MEN: Say “Good Morning” or “Merry Christmas” to my FACE instead of ANYTHING BELOW IT please. I’m a person, not a holiday treat.

3. UPS: WHEN THEY ONLY DELIVER YOUR “SIGNATURE REQUIRED PACKAGES” DURING THE HOURS OF 9-5 . WHY WOULD THEY DO THAT?!? I can afford GIFTS because I WORK. I LIVE ALONE... RUB IT IN, I KNOW THAT NO ONE IS THERE TO "SIGN" FOR ME. I'll be lucky if can get those gifts by December 2008.

4. TIGHT PANTS: Too many brownies, cookies, and “treats.” The buttons are popping and I’ve got no one to sew them for me.

5. NO PLANS: Asking all my friends what they’re doing for New Years Eve and they say “I don’t know, what are YOU doing?” We’ve had an entire year to plan SOMETHING and somehow the evening’s events are still non-existent. I’m buying a bottle of 4 dollar champagne and sitting home ALONE where no one will ask me “what I want to do.” Hell, maybe I'll even be there when the UPS guy finally shows up with those gifts I ordered in October.



What dims your holiday spirit when you should be merry and bright?

1 comment:

Sarah said...

Yes to 1 and 5 especially.

instead of plowing, there are ice mountains where I NEED to park. it would be flatter and easier to drive up on the lawn.