Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Don’t Wii me

How my new man disposed of an EX right before my very eyes.

I’m naïve to all things “electronic.”
And when it comes to any of the myriad game consoles, I’m like a 90 year old man who’s just been handed a laptop with a wireless card… I simply don’t get it.

So imagine my surprise that something like the WII exists…
That a tiny little remote can be your gun, your guitar, your tennis racket, AND YOUR EX GIRLFRIEND REMOVER.

That’s right, gone are the days of burning old love letters and spreading rumors...
Bring on the murder of girlfriend-avatars via the WII!!!
HIM: (controller in hand) "Let’s make a Chrissie Avatar!"

ME: “What’s that mean? Oooh! A little cartoon-girl that looks like me!?! Can she be 5’2 like me and have bangs?!?!!!!”

HIM: Of course, let’s do it!
And so he started up the game console and on the screen were a handful of tiny avatars walking around the “nothing” waiting for their chance to play.
ME: “Oh they’re so cute! Which one is YOU!?”

HIM: This one! (He pointed to the little guy with the goatee).

ME: “Wait! Who’s the CHICK!?!
There on the screen… in adorable cartoon fashion, was an EX.
Living, breathing, and walking around his apartment like she virtually owned the place.
HIM: “Oh, that’s nobody…”
After saying this, he quickly used his beyond universal remote to pick her up by the back of her head and dispose of her.

On the screen came the prompt:

Click, click.
She was gone.
ME: “Well, thanks… I guess.
Sure, it was sweet that she had disappeared and that my short, blonde, cartoon Chrissie could take her place.

But I couldn’t get the "futuristic Wii-induced image" out of my head...

The idea, that he might one day be prompted to “REMOVE THIS AVATAR FOREVER.”

And I too will be deleted.


Sarah said...

I bet your avatar was cuter :-)

Hey, can you always leave girly notes with heart-dotted "i"s all over his apartment... Just in case. Those are more difficult to erase.

Ok, I swear, I'm over it now :-)

Chrissie said...


It's better than finding HER at his place still right?


Sarah said...

Sure is! And your avatar could make her avatar see stars, without you ending up behind bars!

(PS your <3s make me want to spew)

Sarah said...

Is it odd that he has a virtual you?

I dunno if I would like that. I'd probably turn on the Wii, start playing, and realize that my enhanced anatomy has been knocking over small furniture. And wait, where did that French maid costume come from? I was in sweat pants!