Friday, December 7, 2007

I hope you know

That’s what he used to say instead of “I love you.”

He just hoped that I knew how he felt.
And I did.

Because as they say...
“When you know, you just know.”

And, God… we knew.

We knew that in our silence was our promise and that promise was everything to us.

We knew it all.


But if I knew then what I know now…

I’d know that however much he’d hoped,
In the end, the only thing I knew for sure was how it felt to be abandoned.

To no longer know
But to question.

To question everything.

Because our heads were too busy knowing…

Knowing it was wrong.
Knowing we were over.

And now, I hope you know.

I hope you know our finish line was meant to be crossed.
A tie, we both won.

And after we crested the final hill, my ears popped upon our descent and now I just can’t listen to what they say anymore…

Because after all that...
How can I ever again believe
That when "we know, we know” ?

Because that certainly felt like knowing…
but no amount of hope could make it last.


Anonymous said...

i like this post. every once in a while you get poetic on us.

and i don't mean to be a pessimist, but there's something that i've learned in my life:

infatuation dissolves into love. love dissolves into companionship. and companionship just dissolves... at a rate equal to the willingness of one party or the other.

the willingness is based on the fear of an unhappy future -- unhappy being alone, or unhappy being with a person they don't "love" anymore.

don't get caught up on "knowing" things... because human emotions were never meant to be so permanent.

what you knew then, was probably true. what you know now, is also probably true.

but what you think you know now about what you thought you knew then is probably wrong. and questioning it all and trying to "understand" is an exercise in futility, because your questions are poorly phrased, and your answers only reflect how you feel right now.

i'm not saying this to take all the wind out of your romantic sails, it's just a neurological, scientifically proven fact.

or, well, that's what i read.

Chrissie said...

thanks anon... and no hard feelings for taking the "wind out of my romantic sails."

but keep in mind, without a little romance, there wouldn't be the occasional "poetic post."


Anonymous said...

romance is not dead.

but absolute feelings... well, they never existed in the first place.

it's allllllllll relative.