Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Marry Christmas

Tis the season for getting married, or at least engaged.
And while some men might be giving in to tradition, I’ve got my own ideas about what’s appropriate for popping the question with a shiny diamond in tow.


DO NOT SPEND 3 MONTHS SALARY ON “THE RING”: This idea originated from De Beers, it’s strictly a commercial scheme to encourage unknowing men into wasting their money on a diamond. You can say “I love you" without going broke.

DO NOT BUY ME A BLOOD DIAMOND: There are ways to figure out if your ring purchase comes with the arm of a little boy. Check out “CONFLICT FREE” diamonds or “CONFLICT NEUTRAL” diamonds by donating a portion of the ring’s cost to an appropriate charity.

If you want to get me a emerald because it’s my birthstone, or a sapphire because it means something special to OUR RELATIONSHIP, then do it. I’d hate to think that our relationship's individuality is set aside in the name of De Beer’s and their clever campaigns for your money.

DON’T ASSUME THAT BECAUSE A DIAMOND IS FOREVER, THAT WE ARE: Don’t drop three month’s salary, drop to one knee, and propose, only to drop the personality of the man I said yes to. If “marriage” really scares you and will turn you into a different person, than let’s NOT DO IT.

What do YOU think?
Is "the ring" the thing, or can you ask someone to marry you in your own unique way?


Chrissie said...

What happens when he DOESN'T get you a diamond, but still says WILL YOU MARRY ME?!

Sarah said...

Why doesn't HE get anything? If DeBeers was so smart, they woulda came up with a diamond encrusted Yankees emblem, and started THAT engagement tradition...

Chrissie said...

UNLESS you consider the timing of the DeBeers guys...

They began this campaign at at time when women weren't usually working, and definitely weren't the "bread winners" in the household.

It would have been foolish of them to target women with the purchasing of diamonds... don't ya think?

Sarah said...

I really didn't put THAT MUCH thought into, hehe, but since you did, now would be a good time to builds those factories in CHINA!!

Gman said...

The missus and me, we're not real trad with the diamond thing. We did the bi-coastal thing for a year before I moved out to LA to be with her. So we knew we'd not part.

And we lived together for 2 years before we just looked at a calendar and picked a nice day in May to see the judge and make it sanctioned.

I had bought her an antique opal ring when I was in upstate NY and she was in LA. We considered that our "ring." When we had to pick out bands, we spent a whole day in LA's jewelry district looking at designs; wonderful day of shopping and laughing. Great time I still look back at fondly.

In the intervening years, I've bought her a nice mother's ring and a pair of opal earrings to go with her original opal; oops, she said, honey, I lost that and was afraid to tell you.

Well, it'll turn up somewhere. She is more upset than I am. Point is that you can make any piece of jewelry a special symbol of any point in your relationship if the relationship is blessed.

Anonymous said...

I don't know any woman who would show her girlfriends a crappy quarter carat topaz engagement ring and exclaim "its not a blood diamond and it only cost $350.00...isn't it gorgeous?"

Sarah said...

gman, my mom told me a similar story. my dad bought her a pearl ring with diamond chips. Later on, she had the pearl made into a mother's ring, which has the birthstones of all her kids. i think that ring means more to her than any diamond.

i am a big fan of passing down the family stone. get gma's ring. if it's too outdated, have the stones reset. sentimental value.

Chrissie said...

anon, that's the thing i noticed when i was researching... most women who had non-diamond rings said they felt most uncomfortable when friends or family members said, "LETS SEE THE RING!! WHERE'S THE RING!!!"

but i think in time, when we become less accustomed to the diamond tradition that's based mostly on money, and see that other options are just as romantic, then people won't be so apt to be embarrassed of their opal.

(not that we should go around flaunting ANYTHING and screaming about how much it cost, imagine how tacky THAT looks, i'd say it's worse than a cubic zirconia.