Is there a right time to say I LOVE YOU to someone?
I've always been rather guarded with those words…
I've said it to 2 men and I waited to hear it from them first.
I remember getting an E-Card from my first boyfriend that said, "YOU, I LOVE," at the end of it and I almost puked.
Even in that out-of-order-way I knew what it meant.
The pressure was on.
Feel it or bolt.
Say it back, or ruin everything.
Years later, after 6 months of courtship and infatuation with boyfriend number two… I heard it again. Not the "You, I love," but something equally original.
It was like a secret, a quiet utterance of what we both knew.
"Psst... I love you, you know," he said
And I knew.
I had known for months but couldn't bring myself to change what we were.
Because those words bring a commitment not otherwise there.
Those words change e v e r y t h i n g in the blink of an eye.
And the expectations ensue.
I hate expectations.
Because until now they've a l w a y s seemed to end in disappointment.