Friday, January 11, 2008


(No matter how cute he is)

1. He can’t “stay long” because he’s “meeting someone else for a drink.” (And by someone else, I of course mean, another woman).

2. He can’t hold a job that doesn’t involve a scale, a friend named “Dude,” and an enormous amount of cash.

3. He spends countless hours “online” while you wait for him scantily clad in the bedroom.

4. He moves all the canned goods OUT of the pantry and moves himself and his laptop in there instead.

5. He put up a nasty ad on Craig's List about his EX GIRLFRIEND after they broke up. An ad that could have had potential effects on her future, career, and overall safety.

6. He has business cards he made himself, for the imaginary ‘business’ he owns and operates out of his father’s basement.

7. He told you he was 27, then 28, then 29, but he was actually 32.

8. He's 30 years old and happy with the twin bed he's had since middle school.

9. He tells you he’s “crazy” and that “you don’t need a guy like him.”
(This is the one time when you should trust him).

10. He’s friends with that guyyou know, the one whose personal resume looks like numbers 1-9. They are friends for a reason.


Sarah said...

Ok, I'll Go.
1) He wet your bed.
2) He has been charged with PIP peeing in public.
3.) There is a permanent dent of his body on his living room furniture.
4.) When his last gf dumped him, he attacked her with stink bombs.
5.) He was kicked off of campus for harassment.
6.) He was elected president of his frat 10 years in a row.
7.) His mom tells you to dump him.
8.) Your co-worker tells you she knows your bf, because he won't stop hitting on her.
9.) He tried to talk your roommate into a 3some.
10.) He kissed another girl in front of you.
11.) He locked himself in a bathroom w/ another girl... also in front of you.
12.) You found his passed out on a bench one morning, on your way to work.

I made these up of course :-)

Chrissie said...

You may have made them up but numbers 7 and 9... and 10 all happened to me!!!

OOOooh!! And number 11... but that was before we were "dating."


Sarah said...

U know what's really sad. 1-5 and 9-12 is the same guy. HAHAHA