Thursday, January 3, 2008

Falling for a new MAN(ners)

“You have no social grace.”

He said it during an argument.
And while the catalyst for his anger escapes me now… that comment won’t budge from its spot in my memory.

It haunts me at moments when I least expect it…
It will creep up during conversations with people I’ve known for years or in social gatherings with complete strangers.

I've pondered the origin of this insult for years...

I don’t eat with my hands.
I cover my mouth when I sneeze.
I send thank you cards and shake the hands of people I meet.

But in spite of knowing all these things...
His comment is especially hard to forget when I watch my own refinement disappear...

And I fall in a crowded restaurant.

Blame the stilettos.
Blame the ice storm outside.
Blame the freshly buffed hardwood floors.

Or as he would have done... blame my lacking social grace.


But now the person there to pick me up had just one concern.

He wanted only to make sure I was okay.

Because for him, that fall wasn’t evidence of lacking social graces or an inadequate girlfriend...

It was only indicative of an imperfect environment.

He blamed everything except me and assured me it really was all right when he said...

“It was actually quite graceful for a fall.”


Chrissie said...

And so I wonder...

What are some insults YOU can't forget?

Okay, okay, I'll go first:

1. "Chrissie has duck lips."

(This was in 8th grade, by a girl with no lips who was surely jealous that I had some).

2. "Chrissie is selfish."

(This was said by a crazy woman, who was upset that I hadn't answered one of her 7 phone calls while I wasn't even home to answer them).

3. "Chrissie is virtually ambitionless"

(This was said by a man, who has yet to achieve the same professional status that I have... yet he was creative enough to create his own word. I think he actually meant I was "virtually without ambition").

In all...
People say dumb things.

Sometimes we can forget them and sometimes we have to fall down in public in order to realize that they are wrong.

(But I still blame the hardwood floors).

Anonymous said...

...I just thought it was funny

bird flipper said...

(that was me before)

.....but I felt bad later.

Chrissie said...

well BF, in the end... i'll admit it was funny.

sort of.

minus the shame and the tears of course:P

Sarah said...

There was E. who liked to use F words in front of insults, none of which I can repeat, especially the C word.

He also had a knack for pointing out sensitive things. Like, is that a stretch mark? OMG, that's a stretch mark! Ewwww, gross. You should cover that up.

I didn't feel bad when I accidentally punched him. in the head. with a beer bottle. and a set of car keys. that left a scar.

I still don't.

Sarah said...

J used to call me the B word a lot. a real lot. I'm not sure I didn't own up to it. I'm also not so sure he didn't bring it out of me.