Wednesday, January 16, 2008

The future of friendship

If I do this, does it mean the end?

If I don't go, could it be the last invite?

The blue liquid vanished. The 8 ball read "yes" and an ache shot through my heart.

I graduated college half a decade ago, but my college friends feel light years away.

It's partly my fault. I should have gone out to California more than once to visit. I should have dialed instead of e-mailed. I could have made more of an effort.

But something always comes up.

Plane tickets are expensive. Phone conservations can be awkward. Effort is exhausting.

And now, the final fault. A returned invitation checked no. A broken promise to be there.

Another year passed by, without them in my life.

I wonder, how long does it take for time to sweep away a friendship? Or is time not to blame?


Sarah said...

Broken plans = broken friendship.

When do you get fed up and decide to stop inviting?

Anonymous said...

The friendship can't mean that much to you anymore if your not willing to put in the effort. Maybe your just hoping there will be no more invites.

Chrissie said...

when it comes to my views on this topic... i think i tend to be understanding of my friends' personal lives and other obligations.

if we have opposite work hours or live far from one another, it's obvious that we won't be seeing each other frequently.

but there should be a little effort shown every once in awhile, even if it's just a "thinking of you" email.

it's not that hard to keep in contact with people anymore... between social networking sites and email... we really don't have excuses for disposing of friendships.

for me, i reach out, time and time again and i'll only give up when the friend doesn't return the same effort...

Sarah said...

I don't ever stop being friends w/ friends. I only stop being friends w/ bad people.

I hope my friends know they could fall off the Earth then call me up for coffee and I'd be there!

Really anon? I'm hoping? That's what you got from this post?

Vanessa said...

If you dont want to be "bothered" by invites from this friend-- Then are they really your friend anyway?

It's hard to consider yourself friends with someone you cant be bothered to stay in touch with. If your friends find time for you, dont you think they'd feel slighted that you cant find 5 minutes to pick up the phone and say hello?

On the other hand, depending on the event, many people send invites to every tom, dick, and harry hoping to receive more gifts and $$. (i.e. weddings, baby showers)

Anonymous said...

Thats now what you were saying? I apoligize then, what exactly were you trying to say?

Sarah said...

After college, I was the only one who stayed around. 4 of my housemates went to Cali. 2 moved to NYC/L.I.

I love them dearly. But my situation doesn't allow me to see them often. And that breaks my heart.

I know we've grown apart. I know someday, they'll stop e-mailing or myspacing. I'll be a memory.

But to me, they'll always be great friends.

Chrissie said...

i think when we grow up and change, get husbands, careers, and children... then the things that used to bind us together with certain friends just fade away.

it's not anyone's fault, it's just life.

i don't think it's a matter of feeling "bothered" by old friends, but it's a matter of putting them in your list of priorities...

and unfortunately our priorities change.