Monday, January 28, 2008

no soup for you


i fretted over dinner arrangements the whole week before and when i arrived to the restaurant, it was beyond awkward.

after more than an hour of sending the waiter away, in anticipation of my late arrival, they handed me the menu and salivated over their cold, mostly-eaten apps.

the waiter approached me first, for no reason besides he's a big jerk.

nothing for me, i told him, then I waited for their gasps to stuck all the oxygen from the room. lucky for me, I was holding my breath.

in all fairness, i had waved the eat without me flag. but with little wind in my sails. And now i would suffer.

"You're not hungry?" one asked me, pressing my insecurity button with her eyes. i didn't know how to respond.

i wasn't hungry, no. i had eaten grilled cheese at home.

but why had I eaten before my friend's dinner party was the better question of the two, and one I wasn't prepared to answer.

then, to my relief, R. spoke up.

"We're going to share something. She had a long drive here, so of course, she ate something!"

HooooRaaaay! i was saved.

And while they shoveled their grub, i sat there motionless and beamed. For the one who I loved already so much. For the one who just made me love her all the more.

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