Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Jog, Jiggle and Jump

I'm pissed.

I have been running since last spring, but when I look in the mirror I can't just accept me for me.

I see that my stomach is puffy. That my arms jiggle. That I can do magic tricks with my back fat and bunny rabbits. I don't see the results of a girl who runs, on concrete, or worse, on a broken treadmill, that could be mistaken for a big 'ol piece of doodie.

This is where I jump up and down and pout "WHY CAN'T I LOOK LIKE Jessica Simpson in Dukes of Hazards!!!! WHY DO I LOOK LIKE THIS THIS COMBINED WITH THIS!"

I'm serious ready to jump off this exercise kick into some stretchy pants. I could use some advice. Anyone know a good surgeon who takes charity cases?


Chrissie said...


Running will help, but only some weights directed right at your triceps will help the woman-un-friendly "jiggle."

Not that I'm an expert, I think by the looks of me, I've given up "exercise" completely... at least until spring.

For now, I'm keeping my arms, and my flab under lots of layers:P

vanessa said...

Chrissie's right. running will only take you so far. Muscle is what you need now. I dont think its so much "fat" that you're complaining about, but flabby muscle. What you need now is to sculpt and tone... But you may not to "run" so much as brisk walking. Running really does a number on breaking down the cartilage in your knees. Besides J.S. went through some ridiculous training to look like she did in D.O.H. She doesnt just wake up and look like that. Plus there's Hollywood airbrushing that can take flab to 4pack in about an hour.

Vanessa said...

Besides, if you're basing they way you're "supposed" to look on how actresses and models look, you'll never be happy with yourself.

Quite frankly, very few of those people are happy with themselves either. Just look at all the alcohol and substance abuse problems.

Most of the time they dont look like that in real life anyway.

There's the lighting, airbrushing, clothing, posing, plastic surgeons, etc. That help them look like their "public image".

I gaurantee half of hollywood has cellulite they dont want you to know about.

Chrissie said...

Good point Vanessa! I heard that Jessica Simpson worked our for like 3 hours a day to get to that weight and look, as soon as the film was over, she went back to "normal."

If our JOB is to be skinny and "perfect" then we have 8 hours a day to sculpt and tone ourselves to that end, but if our JOB is less glamorous, we're lucking if we've got 30 minutes a day for a quick jog.

Chrissie said...

And for another thing... at least your "pasty doughy arm" isn't featured in the Odd Couple Logo pic"!

Anonymous said...

running and weight training are good for tightening your muscles...

but in order to lose fat, including your flabby tris and your muffin tops, you must diet. period. exercise alone will not do the trick.

the most important thing jessica simpson had going for her was not so much the 3 hour workouts but the personal chefs cooking all the right foods for her.

and i echo vanessa's comment about running: it's really not good for you. the benefits don't justify the harm done. so don't do it. you burn more calories lifting weights anyway. i'm sure you've heard this advice before, and disregarded it, but just trust me on this one. nothing is more frustrating than wanting to workout but you can't because of the damage you've done to your joints and ligaments.

trust me on this... i know it all too well.