Diary entry 3/11/07 might be able to explain better:
C. admits he's got some growing up to do before he's ready. Finally. The truth. So I am an idiot basically. Why didn't I know what I know now? Is this a wall or a hurdle? I dunno. But I feel sick.
Love is patient.
Sarah is not.
Sarah HAS HAD to be patient. Ugh! That's such an ugly word. PAY-CHENT. You have to grit your back teeth and almost spit to finish pronouncing it. Chent.
I am not a "waiter." I don't handle dentist appointments well, and usually Dr. Chris is only running 15 minutes behind. C. is 365 days behind! I feel like I am groveling. A lowly beggar with a mouth of dirt.
Well when life gives you dirt, make dirt cake. It's delicious. Really. I made it once, complete with gummy worms, and everyone loved it.
Maybe you could feed it to your man, if he's made you wait, to remind him where he'll end up if he doesn't propose to you soon :-) You could serve it with a side of tombstone! OH MY GOD! Here it is!
Talk about a HINT.
Meanwhile, I wait, for my one, my only one, to come to his senses. He's a hard one. He's got his reasons. But he ain't getting younger! He'll learn. His prison is walking through this world all alone. (yes, I'm singing to you).
Have you ever waited for the one you loved?