Friday, March 21, 2008

Hello Cohabitation, Goodbye Garbage

There are a few things men must get rid of before their new ladies will feel comfortable in their newly shared pad. Stuff like...

1. The Ex's toiletries
We all know that specialty shave gel and box of tampons isn't yours. If you expect your new woman to use them, however "new" they seem, you are completely mistaken.

2. The beer paraphernalia
Anything that was "bought" or rather "give to you" at the pub is not real decor. So take the mardi gras beads off the lamp shade already.

3. The roommate
She, will never be happy living in the "guys pad" so you're going to have to ditch your 30-something roommate, no matter how long you dudes have lived together.

4. The little black book
Whether its tiny, huge, or bound like webster's dictionary, those numbers must go right in the trash with "single you."

5. The GI Joes and Comic books
Yeah, yeah, they're worth money... but if you want to live with your woman, it's finally time to trade in your toys for an Ebay account.

6. The Band posters
Unless they're framed, they have to go. Nothing says "bachelor" like a ripped at the edges Def Leopard tribute.

7. The butcher shop
If your fridge is full of burgers, dogs, and steaks and nothing else, it may be time to trade your meat cooler in for a real fridge. You know, one with all the food groups and maybe a little soda to go with your fine array of beers.

8. The "sex drawer"
Unless they are things you to bought together, you may want to clear out that drawer for some of her things... or you may risk being asked the question of "Honey, who bought you that whip?"

Give me 9 and 10...
What did YOU have to get rid of or make your man throw out before you took the plunge and shared a home?


Jared said...

This is nice to see as I will be moving in with my gf soon and I don't think anything on that list applies to me. Although I do have a vestige of bachelorhood in that my apartment currently looks like the inside of Circuit City and I don't know how easy it's going to be for me to lose that.

Chrissie said...

AHHH yes, the ol' circuit city guy. Thousands of movies, cds, and electronics.

THAT is the very reason on want to fine a nice little place with a BIG OLD basement to refinish:)

Dumuro said...

See here or here

Anonymous said...

why do women feel compelled to force their decorating "ideals" on their men?
what happened to compromise?

and, it's spelled "def leppard"

Anonymous said...

"...the very reason on want to fine..."

i'm guessing you don't look at the screen when you type, do you?

Anonymous said...

would you throw out things and get rid of a roomate if you were told to. You're not marrying the person just moving in with them. You women seem to be on a one way street were the guy has to do everything you want or they're not good men, you should compromise. I feel bad for men who move in with pushing women.

vanessa said...

Well anon, I have a question, if your man refuses to reveal what sort of style he has, how are you supposed to make a liveable space of compromise that you both like? He refuses to go shopping, so I'm left to pick out furniture and stuff on my own. I will say that I try to keep everything asexual though. No pinks or floral frilly things. Clean lines, tans, greens, blues, and neutrals. There's skateboards mounted on the wall, and I get to add in the throw pillows, candles, fresh flowers etc. I think my place says a couple lives here.

But if a man refuses to express that he has some sort of style, then why not let the woman do whatever she wants. He's bringing it on himself if he pretends to not care about "style". Besides bachelor pads tend to consist of old couches with frat party stains, milk crates for coffee tables, and a funny smell coming from the bathroom. Who really wants that?

Chrissie said...

1. this post wasn't about "how to compromise when moving in with your man/woman." this post was a VERY SHORT list of the FEW THINGS men should get rid of if the want to move in with a woman rather than live the life of a bachelor.

2. def leopard, def leeppppard, def lipard, i don't really care. i google a lot of things to check on their spelling, but if a band chooses to spell their own name wrong, that's not my problem...

3. i don't look when i type ALL THE TIME. i probably type millions of words everyday, so i'm bound to flub up a couple of them. (although, i'll be honest... even I don't know what i was trying to say in that comment...).

4. i would consider throwing out roommates and things if i was ASKED to... sure. "told to" not so much. this post may seem like its demanding, but it makes for better reading than "things i might ask my new boyfriend to possibly throw away if i ever move in with him, maybe."

for the record:
i am not proofreading this comment, i don't have time.

Anonymous said...

chrissie is pissed! STOP PICKING ON HER SPELLING!

it's okay chrissie. we all make spelling mistakes sometimes. like, look: para..pha.nairr..leeeah. see? i am almost positive i misspelled that word ("that word" being, "parapha-phufer-fa-nailya").

and i'm not proofreading this comment either. BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE THE TIME! EITHER!! GABBAR! LASSAS!! ARRRGHHSSHWAAYyyyy