Wednesday, March 12, 2008

I win

They say that happiness is the best revenge.

And if that's the case, I win.

I win because I've never been happier.
I win because this makes that seem like a joke.
I win because I thought I'd never love again, and I simply may have never loved before.
I win because your hour is over, and mine has just begun.

But all I feel is sorry.
For you, for us, for what could have been and for what never had a chance.

A bruise on my perfection...
The one thing I still feel for you.


Anonymous said...

Dear Chrissie,

This has nothing to do with the topic posted but i could really use some advice from the po jo's finest.

i am a 27 year old man and i have been dating a girl since december. she just turned 20. everything started off great, and we fell deeply in love very quickly. i have no doubt in my mind that she is the one for me.

she is going to school full time and we both work crazy hours so we usually have to schedule our days together. however, in the past week she has been acting weird. she wont make plans to see me, and she seems like she dosen't even want to be around me.

today/right now she informed me that i have been the perfect boyfriend thus far, and she cares about me very much. but she dosen't feel that same magic as in the begining. she also stated that she dosen't know why she feels this way. she dosen't want to break up, but she is thinking about ending our relationship. she's telling me that she is realy confused.

and now i am really confused. please help, i am so upset right now, i feel i may loose her and she means everything to me.

Chrissie said...

Well, anon... a lot of people say not to date women between the ages of 19-23 if you're looking for a commitment. Women of this age tend to be "flighty" and in search of newness all the time.

If this is her first "real" relationship, she may unrealistically expect the 'magic and spark' that were there at the beginning to be there forever.

While these things shouldn't fade entirely, expecting them to last through everything and forever isn't realistic... but to a young girl they may seem as they should be.

If she's telling you she's feeling this way, and that you're "perfect" then she just may not be ready for perfect yet.

A lot of women need to experience the good and the bad before they're ready for the "best."

Maybe she's smitten with someone new, maybe she's just not ready for a real relationship, that a man in his late 20s is probably looking for.

My advice would be to wait it out, give her a little space and see how she feels. If she's gone, then it wasn't meant to be...

I know its not the best answer, but as a person who dated someone for years and thought they were perfect, I knew I just wasn't ready for "forever" yet... and I left. We both moved on, loved and lost, but I don't regret it at all, if she wants you, you'll know... it won't be confusing.

Anonymous said...

very boastful... i almost expected to see a "na na-na na-na na" in there.

and then you throw in some pity to top it off. a bit patronizing.

sounds more like the voice of a woman scorned, not of a "victor".

not your top form. it's all a bit childish and thin. you can be better than this.

Chrissie said...

1. To inflict punishment in return for (injury or insult).
2. To seek or take vengeance for (oneself or another person);avenge.


1. The act of taking vengeance for injuries or wrongs; retaliation.
2. Something done in vengeance; a retaliatory measure.
3. A desire for revenge; spite or vindictiveness.
4. An opportunity to retaliate, as by a return sports match after a defeat.

regardless of happiness being the best REVENGE, it is still REVENGE.

not a pretty thing... top form or otherwise.

it includes being boastful, and perhaps a little pity, and even the occasional patronizing remark.

and as for being scorned...

uhhhhhhhh why else would a person even seek revenge???

"PoJo Princess" said...

Anon, sounds like you got the long version of "it's not you, it's me"

she informed me that i have been the perfect boyfriend thus far, and she cares about me very much. but she doesn't feel that same magic as in the beginning

if that's the case, you can do two things:

1) Be mature, be respectful and be patient.

2) Realize that if one girl thinks your perfect, others will too.

Good luck.

The ex said...

you're not over me

Chrissie said...

i can't help but also point out that the anonymous person calling me "boastful" and "patronizing" fancies him/herself my editor.

from which institution is your writing degree?

for how long have you written in a public forum daily under a name other than anonymous?

but as for you EX... you may or may not be right, depending on which ex you are :P

Jared said...

The best revenge is not giving someone the satisfaction of knowing that you still think about them. Being hated is better than being forgotten.

Chrissie said...

well said jared.

i've also heard people say "the best revenge is looking good."

but i don't think that's true, unless you're looking good for YOURSELF.

if you're looking "good" just to impress an ex, it means you're thinking about them too much.

Anonymous said...

wow. i was not trying to "edit" you. just giving my opinion. sorry if i was offensive.

and i know what "revenge" means.

my point was more subtle.

boasting about revenge is an indication that, at some deeply set psychological level, you're still stuck on this scorn. in which case, you really haven't "won" anything... since the only person you were really competing against was you.

maybe i'm just looking too deep into it. or maybe you're not looking deep enough. or maybe this post wasn't designed for anything else but superficial pleasure.

and in that case, let the rubbing-in-the-face recommence.

and if "anonymous" is a problem, then my name is rob. alderman. and i'm a fan of yours. which is why i read your blog (and occasionally point out your best posts, or comment how aliens are all metrosexuals).

but i admit, i do not have a writing degree from any institution. however important that is.

Anonymous said...

yea it does sound like the its not you its me speach. but i know her thats not what she is doing. one hour after she told me this with tears in her eyes she called me to talk about how stressfull her day has been.

she is very stressed out over school and work and her home life. the loss of majic that she is reffering to may have something to do with our busy schedules. you see now that we have to schedule our time togeher it turns into a chore rather than leisure.

i think she feels obligated to hang out during those times and really has no down time to herself.

sarah said...

she wont make plans to see me, and she seems like she dosen't even want to be around me.

obligated to hang out

no down time to herself.

If you care about her, let her figure things out. On her own. By giving her space.

Anonymous said...

ok se has complete broken up with me at this point and i am an absolute wreck. my teerducts are burning. please help make it better.

Chrissie said...

just give her space and time... you can't make someone want to be with you.

if she realizes she misses you... then you'll have her back.

Dave said...

Or maybe he needs to grow a pair and stop being 'the perfect boyfriend'? It's her head (read: lifetime social conditioning) that says you're perfect, but right now she doesn't feel it.

If she's bored, make her life more exciting. Tease her, be spontaneous, become a challenge. For now just giving her the gift of missing you is a start.

Gman said...

She has a new boyfriend. I guar-on-tee!