After an evening of dinner and drinks during the "early bird special" on Friday night, my friend and I sauntered over to our "used-to-be-favorite" watering hole for a drink... but what we found weren't the kind of worms these birds are now looking for.
5 REASONS WE'RE FINISHED WITH BARS
1. The smell.
I can remember late nights where the men's room toilet flooded into the bar area. I can remember people puking on the floor and spilling drinks everywhere. What I cannot remember, is seeing anyone clean up any of this... ever. The putrid smell, exists as evidence of this very fact.
2. The patrons.
"Hey! There's that ugly guy who called me Mami and rubbed his leg against mine even though I told him that I was trying to have 'A (expletive) conversation.' And look! There's that tool we called the PERP!" (Turns out... although we'd found other things to do, that some individuals still hadn't).
3. The bartenders.
Like the patrons, those same ol' 30-somethings were still pretending that they were rock-stars rather than drink-makers. But what does it say about a man that can only get the ladies after he fills them with shots of tequila and garnishes his "game" with deception?
4. The children
I dunno what happened... but either they lowered the drinking age to 16, or I'm getting O-L-D.
5. The prices
Drinks are cheaper when you're single... my freebie was replaced with a $6 tab, and all I could think was how that was the same price as my favorite cheapy-red wine (of which I get an entire bottle, rather than 4 ounces in a chipped glass).
In all, I realized that I can get all the perks of what I once found at the bar... friends, music, booze, conversation and camaraderie, in the comforts of my own home.
Where it doesn't smell foul...
Where the perp doesn't exist...
And where I can drink 3 glasses of wine with real friends rather than 10 pints of alcohol with
people that will leave me to find my own cab at 3 a.m.
This early bird, now gets her worm at home.