Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Pushing my buttons

Happy hour. 15 minutes in. His friends. Not mine.

Ms. flirtation found her target, and it belonged to me.

It's one thing to smile with your eyes and flirt with your wit, and it's quite another to touch someone else's man.

While I stood closely by... I saw it happen.
She was intrigued by his style, namely the cute little buttons on his shirt. They were the kind that literally made a "snap" noise when closed... the kind that had a pearly outside and a metal enclosure that seemed to hold her attention much better than my evil stares from across the room.

Snap snap went the breast pocket buttons.
Snap snap went the first two collar buttons.
Snap snap went the next... and then the next.

I sauntered over, pointed to the lowest buttons on the shirt and simply said, "As long as you don't touch those two. Those are mine."

She giggled. I walked away. And then I spent the majority of the next hour or so flirting with my wit and smiling with my eyes.

Finally, he approached me and asked...

"Are you leaving with me... or with him?"
"Well it depends." I said.
"On what?" he asked.
"On whether or not you ever plan to wear that shirt again."

He laughed. Grabbed my hand tightly and we left.

In the end I guess I could only hope that his grasp was a better indication of our connection than those lousy little buttons.


Chrissie said...

my question is this...

is it worse that she touched him, or that he let her?

Anonymous said...

As a guy, he probably should have given her a signal that he was with someone and therefore, hands off. Flirting with wit, is as you say, one thing, but to touch is another. As my mother used to say when I was young, "Look with your eyes, not with your hands."

Chrissie said...

gotta love moms with their wisdom:)

i just know i wouldn't be touching some other girl's man in her presence...

or i mean ever...

Anonymous said...

Well I agree, that is the safest course of action.

sarah said...

I think men are rarely the targets of flirty attention, so when it happens, they take it as a compliment.

When you claimed the last two buttons, I bet your man felt the biggest boost to his ego.

Chrissie said...

yeah... the button claim seemed to do the trick;)

madelena said...

Ewh!!! What a trashy thing to do! What woman does that, really?
It's one thing like you said, to talk with a little innocent flirting, but there's always a line which one should not cross (unless alcohol blurred it for her).
What an awkward thing to happen. Girlfriend or not, what kind of signal are you sending when you go up to a man and start unbuttoning his shirt? Lack of social grace much?

But yeah, I agree with Sarah on the attention factor, and in this situation I blame the her. (which is strange for me, because I always side with women). That was a little out of line though.

armastaja said...

I'm a guy. It's worse that HE let her.

I'd like to know where people draw the line or define the difference between flirting and pursuit. Where do you?

Physical undressing? Whoah. That's NOT flirting under my definition. I don't do the club/bar/whatever scenes, so I don't know what's acceptable these days; but, I'm no prude either.

Chrissie was right...he LET her.

I'm sorry, but Sarah's comment about men NOT being the targets of flirtation is no excuse. Men don't know they are being targeted!

Anonymous said...

when their they're being unbuttoned
by someone they just met
in a bar
with alcohol
and a "friend" girl-"friend"?
in the wings

Chrissie said...

i'm not quite sure what the last anon comment meant... but for the record.

the girl wasn't one he 'just met' and the girlfriend was a girlfriend, minus any quotation marks.

i agree with you madelena, no class for that girl... but i think i still blame him:P

Anonymous said...

he left with you, didn't he?

what's the big deal?

Chrissie said...

who said any of it was a big deal???

sarah said...

Just to clarify:

I think men are rarely the targets of flirty attention, so when it happens, they take it as a compliment. . <--- isn't an excuse. it's an observation.

the key in like situations is to SPEAK UP. tell your partner how something made you feel (never assume they know). if he/she repeats that behavior, he/she probably isn't worth another date.

(Chrissie, I don't mean you specifically)

Gman said...

I did not know buttons like that still existed, let alone could serve as points of contention.

The stuff I learn on PoJo blogs. Amazing.

Chrissie said...

glad to see i brought a little innovation into your day Gman;)

perhaps the girl wasn't flirting, she just was astonished that such buttons still existed.

Gman said...

That could be. Or maybe she was doing a sort of "Brokeback Mountain" test to see how he'd react.

Because if I remember correctly, those buttons were de rigeur on "dressy" cowboy shirts at one time.

Not that I'm Tim Gunn or anything.

Anonymous said...

seems to be a big deal to did blog about it. and felt that you had to "claim your territory"

Chrissie said...

i also blogged about women who have fake babies instead of real ones... that doesn't necessarily mean they were "a big deal to me" does it?

and as far as i'm concerned... "blog worthiness" isn't based on how much things "matter" but rather how well they lend themselves to text.

like fake babies and buttons of course:)