Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Our looking glass

"Wow!" my little sister exclaimed," You two sound exactly the same!"

She was talking about my man and I of course.
And of course, I was appalled.

"What do you mean, exactly the same?"

"You have the same voice," she said. "And you make the same faces."

Maybe it was our mutual affection for all things small we seemed to find while shopping, or our common reaction to those very things, but there was no denying that my little sister was right.

We were beginning to mirror one another in ways I wasn't sure I was comfortable with.

From facial gestures to common laughs, becoming a "couple" unfortunately means saying goodbye to certain aspects of yourself that were solely yours and embracing unexpected changes.

Considering my closest girl friends and I have our own "hidden language," full of private jokes and euphemisms that no one else understands... I calmed myself with the acknowledgment that
it seems only natural for a guy-girl relationships to create their own personal imagery as well.

But while the relationship mirror continues to reflect our new found similarities, I have to wonder when sharing becomes changing...

And when that change means you're losing the one person that got you into this great relationships in the first place.


Chrissie said...

how much is too much time together? and how "similar" can you become before no one recognizes you???

i guess there's something to be said for the fact that my little sister said, "you two sound exactly the same," rather than, "wow chrissie, you sound just like him."

gimme comments.

vanessa said...

Well they always say that if you've been married long enough, you start to look alike. You dress the same, get the same haircuts, etc.

I think when you form close relationships that you do tend to mimic each other after awhile. Or maybe its just that your similarities are emphasized by being together. I've noticed it with almost all my close friends.

I also think time together turns into too much time together when you no longer do things for yourself or partake in different passions and hobbies like you used to. .. like everything in life there needs to be a balance.

Chrissie said...

i agree with much of what you're saying vanessa and i think it is a natural thing, and something we can't really avoid most of the time.

i just know that there are a few couples that so closely resemble one another that it borders on creepy!

i think it's really important to remember who you were when you met though too, after all that is the person he/she fell in love with so too much change can't be good.

vanessa said...

Yeah but dont forget we all change slightly over the years in one way or another as we grow older and wiser. How can one tell if they changed because of someone else, or if it was just a natural progression?

Some change can be for the better. As long as you two are still on the same wavelength.