Friday, April 18, 2008

A walk

7 a.m. and I was up. Dressed in sweats, blueberry coffee in hand and awaiting my date.

The date I had with my girl friend.
A date that would begin at a time when only the best usually ended.
A date that would fill my mind with conversation and my body with adrenaline, and then the inevitable rush of relaxation.

We walked for over an hour, through a somewhat rough terrain.
We let our feet lead the way through the miles of sunshine and fresh air.

All the while knowing that we'd end up...
Right back where we started.

As our pace settled in, I couldn't help but think of how our walk reminded me of each and every relationship that I've ever had.

They're all a bit tricky to get started, but once you find your perfect stride, it can be entirely enjoyable.

But there's always the realization that at the end of every hill, is yet another one to climb.

So we climbed, never stopping.

And as we crested that final hill, and I saw my home in the almost reachable distance, I felt at once relieved and disappointed.

I wanted to be finished, to crawl into my bed and sleep the day away, only to begin the journey again tomorrow.

I wanted the beginning forever, the rush of accomplishment, the anticipation of next time.

Yet I knew that when I reached our destination and closed my door quietly behind me... That I'd have only me in the end.

But while I may have been alone and exhausted...
At least I felt good.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

"...At least I felt good."

you felt the satisfaction that comes after cresting that final hill.

but the hill is the happiness. satisfaction is the aftertaste.

the aftertaste will inevitably fade... and it can only go downhill from here.

the beginning, the rush, the anticipation, are all felt at the bottom of the hill, looking up... never at the top of the hill looking down.

we've discussed this before.

or maybe i'm inappropriately blending metaphors.

Chrissie said...

you are not inappropriately blending metaphors...

it just so happens that this is a recurring theme for me.

the hill, the happiness, the satisfaction, and the knowing.

vanessa said...

At least you got to feel a sense of accomplishment. Just to know you put in the effort and came out alive should be good enough no?

7am- ack. I prefer the 7pm strolls.

sarah said...

Yet I knew that when I reached our destination and closed my door quietly behind me... That I'd have only me in the end.

Don't forget your CAT! :-)

Chrissie said...

can't shy away from those cat-lady comments can ya:P

and yes vanessa, you're right... the sense of accomplishment, the effort, are worth it because these things make you feel alive.

you know...
things.
like walks.
and relationships: good or bad.

Anonymous said...

the hill, the happiness, the satisfaction, the knowing the inevitable...

these are not recurring themes of life...

these are life.

nobody is exempt from its peaks and troughs...

although some of us are more keenly aware of the wave we're riding.




oh yeah, and btw, a spring 7am sounds crisp and refreshing. but blueberry coffee sounds yuk.

Chrissie said...

i used to think fruit + coffee = yuk too.

until i tried it... it's like having a muffin, minus the calories :)

vanessa said...

my fav is the toasted almond.. with a whole grain bagel. mmmm.