Friday, April 11, 2008

Warning: Couples Only

There comes a moment in every relationship where we must do the "deed."

Ya know... go on a vacation together.

But if you're planning on still being together when you return, take the following advice as a warning...

1. Camping is not fun with people you don't REALLY like.
Face it, if you can't really stand being around someone in an air-conditioned home with all the necessities, it's going to be a lot harder to get along once it's only the two of you, some dirt, bugs, and the silence of nature.

2. Cancun is for couples and singles, but not for EXes.
A month after our 3 year relationship came to an end, we set off on our prepaid vacation to Cancun, just he and I for SEVEN DAYS. Watching the sunset with a man you used to love can only break your heart... it's better to forgo the trip and break the bank instead.

3. Driving anxiety is real.
I could drive across the country with one map and some Red Bull, but that doesn't mean everyone else can. Take into consideration THAT fact when you let HIM drive. There's nothing more unattractive than a panic attack on the highway when you miss your exit... or a man crying behind the wheel.

4. Leave your books at home.
If you're planning on catching up on some reading before bed, on the beach, or in the car, forget about it. This "trip" is about THE TWO OF YOU, so you have to do everything together. Sleep together, play together, eat breakfast together even when you're not hungry, shower "quickly" so you don't miss the metro. No reading, instead you must pretend to enjoy things you really don't so you don't "ruin" the trip and thus, "HIS vacation."

5. Trips with "HIS" friends are fun, but dangerous.
There are 12 people in one condo, and you all get along just fine after some cocktails. But that doesn't mean you should have too many and risk waking up, in the only free bed in the house, with someone who isn't your boyfriend. Regardless of how G-rated the sleep over was, expect to spend the next day crying on the beach and wishing you'd taken your OWN car.

In the end, you may end up with a few great pictures for the photo album, but my advice would be to plan that "GIRLS ONLY WEEKEND" soon after. You're going to need some good conversa-FUN, I mean fun.


sarah said...

Sarah's add-ons

1. Camping is no fun with people who don't like CAMPING. The silence of being alone is better than listening to him complain.

3. Driving in a blizzard, in the Rockies, in a cheap rental car that doesn't have 4-wheel drive, or WIND SHIELD wipers, with a broken head light should be avoided, especially on his 30th birthday!

4. After 3 years, you can both bring your books... to dinner.

Chrissie said...

I love number 4... but where's number two!?

I'll give you one:

2. If you find that you want ALL OF YOUR VACATIONS to be GIRLS ONLY so that you can complain about him, get rid of that guy!

Vacations teach us a lot, but I think making it through them, and then planning another, proves you've got a chance.

sarah said...

OK Chrissie, stay with me here. This is gonna get extremely complicated!

Your No. 1 is camping. My No. 1 is camping.

Your No. 3 is driving. My No. 3 is driving.

Your No. 4 is books. My No. 4 is books.

So you see, I DO KNOW HOW TO COUNT, at least up to 4, but it gets dicey after that¡

Chrissie said...

Ahh... I see. Math, has never been my thing.

I don't like: Other people's pets, kids, or math in any capacity. (Especially when it involves balancing my checkbook;)

Thanks for clearing that up, now where are all the other commentators? I'm sure SOMEONE has a "VACA STORY FROM HELL" Right?!?!

vanessa said...

My fiance and I have actually only been on 1 "real" vacation together in 4 years. We've taken a few long weekends together, but that's about it. Within the first 2 hours of getting off the plane we got into a huge arguement, because I told him the wrong directions. (Needless to say we were across the country- (people are bound to get lost))I didn't think it was a big deal, and said we could just turn around. He played the "I'm tired, I'm hungry, we've been on a plane for 4 hours, and I cant deal with this right now!". So you can see who acted like the woman in this situation. But aside from that we had a great time, and cant wait til we have $$ to be able to go on another.

Chrissie said...

I'll share another story...

The hotel a new beau and I were staying at had the "free continental breakfast" from 7-10 a.m.

I don't usually eat breakfast, and when I do, it's probably something quick and sweet, a muffin, some cereal, etc. I can't get "geared up" for hot eggs in the morning or much else before noon.

Yet, on morning one I appeased him, I went and filled my plate with a bunch of things I didn't really want, simply because they were free.

I actually woke up before 9 on my "vacation."

Vacation to me is sleeping without an alarm, waking to a lazy day at the beach and enjoying a big meal in the evening. It's not rushing around for free muffins.

Nonetheless, after morning one, I assumed I was entitled to morning two without the free-food.

But this wasn't achieved without an early morning argument.

I wanted to sleep.
He wanted to eat.
I didn't care if I was alone.
He did.

It ended with me saying "IM NOT HUNGRY GO BY YOURSELF."

Of course, he then did... and instead of enjoying my extra half hour of rest, I pictured him, alone, having his breakfast without me, and I felt terrible... a few minutes later, I felt hungry.

It wasn't a monumental argument, it didn't ruin our vacation... but it alerted me of some different things about our relationship, things I wouldn't have realized if I hadn't gone on that vacation.

Anonymous said...

one problem with the "couples-only" vacation is that some people are deathly afraid of doing anything alone (like eating breakfast). and since you are the only two on the vacation, you're forced to be around each other 24-7, which can be very... difficult.

but alone time is important too. people should not fear it, but embrace it. the opportunity to be introspective. and the best alone time is vacation alone time.

might i even suggest taking an entire vacation alone. it's a daunting prospect, i know. not that many people have ever seriously considered doing it.

but it's worth it. i once went to hawaii for a week all by lonesome (and not because i was jilted on what was supposed to be a couples-vacation. i actually planned this alone-vacation to be an alone-vacation). it was lovely. nobody to think about but myself, nobody to worry about but myself, nobody to argue with but myself, nobody to answer to but myself, nobody to please but... myself... (well that last one sounds a little gross). i ate when i wanted to. i read when i wanted to. i slept when i wanted to. i laid on the beach and did nothing when i wanted to. and i thought about things. and i thought and i thought and i thought. uninterrupted streams of thought. for hours long. it was a release. a very refreshing and resplendent release.

anyway, i recommend highly - if, you know, you're not afraid of being alone (many of us say we aren't, but, well, many of us are liars). actually, i was a little afraid of my alone-vacation before i went. but then i went. and now, in relation, going to a restaurant alone, or to the movies alone, or to the pub alone is like a walk in the park. the aloneness factor barely even registers with me anymore.

Vanessa said...

Anon, that actually sounds like an excellent idea. I've gone to retaurants and bars alone on occasion and it seems that I'm more comfortable with it than the people around me. They occasionally stare and are probably thinking "that poor girl, doesn't she have anyone to go out with" or "I wouldnt be caught dead eating alone in a restaurant". It does end up being quite a nice, peaceful event. (For myself at least) And it does allow you to have an uninterrupted thought conversation with yourself, and over a delicious meal that you may not have enjoyed as much because you were too busy conversing with the other party.

Now I don't propose that one do it all the time. But on occasion it is a nice break.

Chrissie said...

i enjoy going to the movies by my self... no one to talk through it and interrupt, and i get both arm rests that way too.

i've never done "dinner" alone, but other meals for sure.

but i actually like being alone... and i find that vacations only remind me of this fact. it's a wasted trip if i don't get out for a nice solo walk to take things in... and to think, and think, and think.