Wednesday, May 21, 2008

On turning 26...

About 12 months ago I turned 25 and thought it was the end of the world. Now I know better... I was completely wrong.

Now I know the truth... turning 26 is the end of the world.

But the past year has taught me a lot in terms of life, love, and relationships. Here's a few of my most memorable lessons learned.

1. "Almost" and "Gunna Be" are not appropriate adjectives for men you wish to date. He's "Almost out of college" or he's "Gunna be a doctor" amounts to little in terms of a future. Stick with the "IS's" of the scene and you'll be much happier.

2. Your sister getting married will of course make you want to get married as well. Catching the bouquet, seals this deal.

3. You can find nice guys in bars. Just ask me, and all my friends with boyfriends.

4. Stamps, will be a dollar before I turn 30 and gas will be 8 dollars a gallon. You're better off spending 30,000 a year on lottery tickets than college loans if you plan to afford such "luxuries."

5. The only thing worse than public intoxication is the emotional hangover that ensues afterward. Those "nice guys" in bars aren't looking for the roofie eating, 10 shot slingin' girls. They are looking for the exception to this expectation of "fun."

6. Real friends want nothing more than to see you safe, happy, and successful. If they don't have these qualities, they are not your friends. Real friends, come with real benefits.

7. "You look like a good time," is not a compliment. "You look like a good person," is.

8. Your metabolism slows down at 25. In fact... I believe it may actually STOP at 25, so be careful. Midnight McDonald's is no longer on the menu.

9. Your favorite store at the mall will change from "American Eagle" to "Anne Taylor Loft" because low-rise isn't your favorite thing after all. Your wardrobe will be replaced with "mom jeans" whether you like it or not.

10. The things you think you will never outgrow, will be outgrown without you even noticing the change in yourself and the people around you won't notice either. Life long friends will be changing with you.

2 comments:

Chrissie said...

What did YOU learn by the time you were my age?

And for a super-funny list from a man's perspective on turning 26, go HERE!

sarah said...

That I will never learn to salsa dance, no matter what I tell myself.

That whatever it is, I know being at the beach would be better.

I will never not fear change.