Friday, June 27, 2008

Negative is best

"I'll take the full gamut of tests!" She exclaimed.

"Including HIV???" asked the nurse.

"Absolutely," was the response. Fear hidden in confidence. Shame tucked away inside her johnny coat.

She was ready for the blood test. Even though she'd hated needles, she was geared up to give a vile for the betterment of her life and the quality of her health.

But suddenly, the nurse had brought out a tiny swab and instructed her to wipe it gently over her gums, top and bottom, left to right, before putting it into its appropriate lab-safe case.

"What was that?" the girl asked.

"The HIV test," the nurse replied. "The results only take 20 minutes now, so you'll know before you leave."

"Great!" came her squeaky response and the girl was left alone to wait for her doctor, a head full of fear in a room full of HIV pamphlets.

Deep breaths.
Eyes closed.
Positive thoughts.... well maybe negative thoughts were better.

Did she have someone to call if there was bad news?
Did she have a plan of action?
Did she have enough wine at home to drown her disease ridden sorrows?

But just like that, 20 minutes passed.
What felt like a lifetime was shorter than the average reality tv show, and the girl was promised her tomorrow with a clean bill of health.

Legs shaking, the girl dressed, a crooked smile on her face as she finally made a promise.

She promised to love herself everyday, as much as she loved life in this very moment.

And she promised to love monogamy, even more.

1 comment:

Chrissie said...

Today is National HIV Testing day.

Share your stories (anonymous or otherwise).

I'm sometimes shocked at how few people I know have been tested... is not knowing really better?