Wednesday, June 25, 2008

When to say when

17 Girls are pregnant.
And by the looks of commentators, blogs, and newscasts lately, it's all their fault.

Funny, how an act that has always taken TWO people, brings shame only to one.

As Juno's father so typically pointed out, “I thought you were the kind of girl who knew when to say when.”

Because, it's apparently only up to the girl to say no.

It's up to her to have all the best intentions in the face of a young boy, or young man who wants one thing. A boy she may love, a boy with whom she shares a similar past and life experiences, but a boy who, in this instance, she must be smarter and stronger than.

His one track mind, his gentle coercions mean little, because as the woman, or girl, she is supposed to know, when to say when.

But when is it going to be time for character to be demanded of both parents?

When, will we ask boys to say when?
When will we curse them for dropping their drawers rather than shame the girls because they couldn't "keep their legs closed?"

"I have no idea what kind of girl I am," Juno replied when her father chided her.

And how could she?

She thought she was normal, she thought she was like her boyfriend when she decided to say yes.

A word that meant nothing for a father, and everything for a mother.
A word whose burden is heavier than a 9 month pregnancy.
A word that changes an entire life, for her.

But not for him.

7 comments:

vanessa said...

In the case of the 17 girls in Massachusetts, it IS their fault.

They decided they wanted to be young mothers and made a pact to all get pregnant at the same time so that they could raise their babies together. They thought it would be "fun."

It had nothing to do with having sex with someone they "loved". One girl had sex with a homeless guy for crying out loud.

Yes it takes two to make a baby, but I want to know if these boys knew they were being used to make a baby. And one of the fathers is a 24 year old homeless man? What drug is he on.

What is the world coming to when mindless conservatives would rather have young girls end up pregnant than teach sex ed. Maybe if these girls were given a "baby think it over" doll to take care of for a week, they wouldn't have thought their pact to be so "fun".

Chrissie said...

it is not solely their fault regardless of whether or not they wanted to get pregnant.

they may have wanted a baby.
they may have even made a "pact" to take care of them.

but the men, homeless or otherwise, that they chose to "procreate" with, had the CHOICE to say NO.

they could have said WHEN, regardless of the female's intentions.

condoms aren't expensive, and if these men REALLY didn't want babies, they could have worn one.

it's the old myth that women "trap" men with pregnancies.

all a man has to do is take care of his end of the bargain, and the "trap" wouldn't be able to work.

we blame women for teen pregnancies, but the bottom line is this: whether it's an accident or the end result of an adolescent pact, it still takes TWO people to say YES to unprotected sex.

Jared said...

Women have to suffer more consequences of getting pregnant than men do. If it was as difficult on men as it is on women they would be a lot more careful. What are the consequences for the homeless guy? It's not like he's even going to have to pay child support...

fed up said...

vanessa, your quick judgment is evidence of chrissie's point. the word "pact" was used by the principal of the h.s. and then blown up by the media to make the story more interesting. THERE WAS NOTHING ELSE in the original story to collaborate that there was a "PACT." It went from a word in a quote to a headline on the national news. But sure. A pact of evil girls who FORCE young boys into sex is way more entertaining. (next they'll be calling it rape).

Anonymous said...

Juno was a movie

Anonymous said...

WOW Juno was a MOVIE!?? I had no idea...

Rissa said...

i'm 17, so i know how scary and strange it would be if i were one of these unfortunate young girls. however, if the desire of their hearts was "fun" , these girls need to rethink their definitions because bringing people into the world for fun is inhumane, irresponsible, and downright unacceptable. if shame and blame are to be cast anywhere, i feel it should be divided equally between these girls AND their male partners. after all, both contributed. i do not, however, feel any sympathy for the young women who changed their lives forever. it is a sad situation, but one that these girls brought upon themselves...