1. You can politely decline offers for dates from other men/women with a real honest answer, "I'm married," rather than your former response, "I need to feed my cat."
2. Your married friends will invite you over for dinner again, rather than making excuses like, "Well, we didn't want you to feel left out, since you're the only one without a date..."
3. You won't have to show up at your younger sister's wedding with a date of the same sex, you now have an escort to all functions indicating "plus one."
4. You can avoid the questions about your sexuality since your new spouse will indicate your preferred partner.
5. You can finally get those braces you've always needed with your spouse's new insurance plan!
6. You can spend the holidays at your own place, with your own miniature family rather than suffer through another holiday tour about town pleasing everyone else.
7. You will have even MORE mismatched dishes and cutlery and someone else to help you wash them.
8. No more "single serving" rip offs. You finally have someone to share your box of mac and cheese with.
9. Wearing a wedding band is a creep deterrent and so there is no need to carry around that mace anymore.
10. You will no longer fear arguments will end your relationship. Instead, you'll know that only death will conclude your next disagreement.