Thursday, July 31, 2008


1. You can politely decline offers for dates from other men/women with a real honest answer, "I'm married," rather than your former response, "I need to feed my cat."

2. Your married friends will invite you over for dinner again, rather than making excuses like, "Well, we didn't want you to feel left out, since you're the only one without a date..."

3. You won't have to show up at your younger sister's wedding with a date of the same sex, you now have an escort to all functions indicating "plus one."

4. You can avoid the questions about your sexuality since your new spouse will indicate your preferred partner.

5. You can finally get those braces you've always needed with your spouse's new insurance plan!

6. You can spend the holidays at your own place, with your own miniature family rather than suffer through another holiday tour about town pleasing everyone else.

7. You will have even MORE mismatched dishes and cutlery and someone else to help you wash them.

8. No more "single serving" rip offs. You finally have someone to share your box of mac and cheese with.

9. Wearing a wedding band is a creep deterrent and so there is no need to carry around that mace anymore.

10. You will no longer fear arguments will end your relationship. Instead, you'll know that only death will conclude your next disagreement.


jovial_cynic said...

10. You will no longer fear arguments will end your relationship. Instead, you'll know that only death will conclude your next disagreement.

Well, many people maintain that fear throughout their marriages.

Also, you'd think that this piece would already be established befor getting into a marriage relationship in the first place, right? The public declaration of vows is symbolic -- those vows should exist before the wedding ceremony, don't you think?

Chrissie said...

I agree that the vows should exist before the actual ceremony, but I don't know that they always do for everyone...

A wedding is a symbol of a
commitment, but it's also a legally binding commitment that lasts forever (if done right).

I think people tend to see the legal aspects as more restricting than just wanting to "love someone forever" minus the marriage license... Before the wedding its a matter of leaving, no strings attached, afterward there are attorneys involved.

jovial_cynic said...

Hrm. I don't if anybody actually views their relationship differently between minute before they say "I do" and the minute afterwards. I think the only difference is the public accountability -- my understanding is that a wedding ceremony is meant to bring friends and family into the accountability of the relationship; they are meant to encourage and help you and your spouse be faithful and helpful to one another.

I don't think that anybody's sense of committment changes on that "special day." If it does for some people, I'd argue that those people place more emphasis on the symbolic than on the reality; the wedding is more important to them than the marriage.

Chrissie said...

I don't think it's a matter of the minutes before and the minutes afterward changing someone's views on marriage...

But the days, months, and years before influence how they'll view truly "being married" after the vows.

I've heard plenty of people say "It's not like I'm married!" while they're in otherwise committed relationships with people... so while things might not change "the day of" the act of marriage solidifies things in a way that they weren't previously grounded.

Also, I'd be one to argue that "public accountability" counts a lot for some people... but again, I'm not married nor am I engaged, so I'm not expert either.

Think of the people that stay in loveless, sexless marriages because of "public accountability" and what it would mean to their families, friends, or society if they were to fail or get divorced.

A person, pre-marriage doesn't have to worry about the social stigma that those who are married do should they choose to end their relationship.

Anonymous said...

Being married and having a wedding, makes both parties think twice or even three times before calling it quits.
There's more incentive, I think, to try and work out differences.
As for the support from family and friends after the public vows, I think that is a key. Before you're married, there may be a lot of naysayers and critics, but once you're married, I found most people will offer whatever support they can to help you through the tough times.
That said, if a marriage isn't working and both parties feel that way, chances are nothing will make it work.
Then, you're back to square one.

jovial_cynic said...

Well, my point was simply that #10 on that list holds true for some, and not for others. There are plenty of people who date for years, get married, and never felt throughout the relationship that an argument was going to be a relationship deal-breaker. And then there are also people who are married and get divorced on account of those arguments. I don't think #10 makes sense on the list of the benefits of marriage, that's all.

Wildflower said...

I don't think telling someone you're married or having a ring on your finger is a true deterrent.

For the most part, possibly. But some see it as a "challenge" Which is ridiculous, but common.

My guy and I have been together 9 years. We're not legally married but aside from not having a marriage license, you wouldn't know we weren't.

I tell men I'm married -- because in my heart I am. I am totally faithful to him. He is to me. We only want one another etc... and it hasn't stopped the majority from "trying"

Again I know *most* men are respectful of it, but there's still a great deal of scum who don't care one way or the other.

Charles Messa said...

Nearly one out of ten men has erectile dysfunction in the UK. Levitra is like a life saver for all men suffering from erectile dysfunction. If you think you are alone in England with this mighty problem, just have no worries. Millions of men across the world, in the UK and in England itself suffer from erectile dysfunction.

Dr.sam said...

The chances of contracting erectile dysfunction goes up substantially with age, increasing significantly above the age of sixty-five-which is rapidly approaching for the baby boomers. Although erectile dysfunction becomes more likely with advancing age, there is certainly no age cutoff for a sexually fulfilling life. Some men enjoy sexual activity even in their eighties and nineties.