Monday, August 18, 2008

Moving In Part One

SETTING: His apartment, after buying moving-in supplies, discussing the new furniture arrangements and looking online for some new storage options.

"What are you looking for now?" He asked.

"Oh, I'm just glancing at the shower curtains," came my reply.

"I'm not ready to get rid of mine just because you don't like it."

"Well then," I said. "If you can't part with a piece of plastic and a few hooks, then perhaps I'm not ready to get rid of my entire BATHROOM."


Chrissie said...

Comment and tell me what you hated parting with or what you refused to give up when becoming "we."

Anonymous said...


Now that's there someone else, there's:
1) waiting to pee
2) elbowing at the sink to brush the teeth
3) if I get up first (no Morning TV news in the bedroom while I dress). if he gets up first, a light in my face!

Anonymous said...

Sharing a closet.

Vanessa said...

I hate dealing with Mr. Toss-and-Turn at 3am. We also tend to have a tug of war over the blankets all night. But I guess thats not so bad...

Anonymous said...

So -- why didn't you mention your interest in new curtains to him before he had to stumble into your world to learn about your intentions? You just assume that you can take over -- and the person who's been living there doesn't get a say?

Remember the three "Co"s of living together:
Cohabitation? Communication, then compromise.

Chrissie said...

Well Anon, I didn't realize that one of the top conversations couples must have involved the importance of a shower curtain, and what that means for their relationship.

It's not about "moving in" and "expecting to take over," it's as you said about compromise.

I am giving up an entire home.
An apartment.
A TV, computer, bedroom, living room, refrigerator, couch, chair, another chair, closet space, etc.

I am asking that as a compromise, to give up a shower curtain... is that really so unfair?

Anonymous said...

Do you think HE thinks it was fair that you were going to hang a new curtain and not at least ask him? Clearly he was caught by surprise because HE DIDN'T KNOW -- which takes me back to my original point: Communicate first. Fairness is the result of compromise, and compromise springs from communication.

Anonymous said...

A shower curtain is certainly NOT a big deal. And while yes you're moving in with him, I'm sure you're not trying to "take over" as was previously assumed by someone else. Sure there's compromise, there has to be or it would never work. I honestly don't think that something as simple as a shower curtain is usually discussed in that type of conversation. Furniture, yes.
In closing, I don't think its unfair in the least that you wanted to change a shower curtain. If its really that big of a deal to him, maybe you should discuss things further--like the things that are a big deal to you.

Anonymous said...

In a new living setting such as moving in together, it doesn't hurt (no matter what you think you're giving up and sacrificing) to talk about a change before doing it.

Yes, even for a shower curtain.

Unless, of course, you promise not to get pissed off when the person you moved in with decides to make a change without consulting YOU.

Or would that be totally fine with you? I think not.

Anonymous said...

what kind of man cares about his shower curtain? come on!

if he doesn't appreciate you taking down a bathroom accessory without a long discussion, you're in for some real trouble when it comes time to pick your wedding invitations.

I hope you know where to buy rubber skull stamps!


Chrissie said...

Did anyone actually READ this post... it's about me LOOKING at shower curtains online, not replacing one, not throwing anything away, not even buying one and bringing it "home." Faulting me for perusing the bathroom section of is like reprimanding a woman for window shopping.

yes. if i wanted to actually purchase and change anything, even the shower curtain i would consult him at this point.(notice i said, AT THIS POINT).

but i don't think i need to sit him down and say:

"Okay,we have something important to discuss. Today, I would like to talk about.... err... this is so hard!!! Here it goes! Today I want to discuss the shower curtain."

Anonymous said...

so then why not just say that in the beginning instead of, "I'm giving up everything....poor me.....waaahhhh..."

Jeez. Nice attempted, but unsuccessful, backtrack.

You don't think your TRUE INTENTIONS were clear from your statement, "if you can't part with a piece of plastic and a few hooks..." ??????

Think long and hard about communication or you'll soon be communicating with future landlords as you scout out a new place to live because you bullied your way OUT of a relationship by having expectations that aren't based on communication, but your own, ahem, needs.

Chrissie said...

wow anon, you seem rather venomous in making a statement about a shower curtain...