Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Let’s go for a ride.


I am about to draw a blanket comparison reducing human beings to objects and I am not sorry. Men (and women) are like cars.

A friend has gone on several dates with some one and is hung up over going to bed with the person. This can be a stressful decision, but shouldn’t be. Either you want to go for the test drive, or you both wait until you’re ready. Maybe you test drive another car all together, I don’t know. But sexual chemistry and compatibility are vital in a relationship. (And they’re at least somewhat important in flings.)

I’m not trying to alienate those who haven’t made the plunge, or are waiting for marriage. I’m not one to just “drive around” because I have a healthy concern for disease and pregnancy. (Unless babies can be trained to eat dry food out of a dish and pee in a litter box, I am in no way ready to be a mother.) I was head-over-heels in love when I went for my first spin, which was very important to me back then. I can’t say it’s been the case with every car since – but I sure have liked them all a whole lot at the time.

And, not to mention, it is scientifically proven that abstinence is the best way to prevent pregnancy. Seriously, there is only ONE case in history when a virgin got pregnant. Things didn’t work out so hot for the kid, but really, those are some damn good odds.

So, my point is this – some cars are really only good for rentals. You drive it around for a week and try not to bang it up too badly. Once in a while you find one you’d like to lease for a year or two … or three or four. Then, if you’re lucky (or just a fool) you come across that perfect car you want buy. You sign those papers. You use your heart as a down payment. You give it tune-ups when it needs it and if it breaks down you do everything you can to get it back on the road again.

Then you turn forty and find a car that drives with its top down.

6 comments:

Chrissie said...

I don't consider myself a "car gal" but I certainly appreciate your comparison:)

Oddly enough, I bought my actual car without test driving it. I assumed, "It's new, it must work better than my ol' Honda." And work better it did.

But I'd never be so quick to purchase a new man in such a way.

This reminds me of the conversation I had with my car salesman about my "committment phobia," which seems to be worthy of a blog post rather than just a comment.

In all I say:

Test drive the car, when you're ready. But always, always wear a seatbelt.

sarah said...

I wish relationships came with air bags and that men came with air fresheners!

Sten said...

How about a GPS to give them some direction and heated seats for when things get chilly?

Yuki said...

Oh, definitely no GPS. I think that most relationship advice sucks and so does "Lucy", the GPS that got our little caravan lost because it was not aware that a highway was closed off.

Sarah: don't you like the new car smell, though?

I've never been a fan of that metaphor, though. Cars don't learn what their owners want, etc, etc. But when it comes down to it...I want a hard-top convertible. You know what I mean.

Sten said...

Well said, Yuki.

Sometimes saying problems out loud is more useful than any advice some one might give.

And yes, it was a harsh metaphor ... but I've never been one to sugar coat my thoughts.

Anonymous said...

no you haven't