Monday, November 3, 2008

About You

It amazes me how many people still use Myspace/Facebook as a means of "meeting someone."

They sit at their computers on a Saturday night, beer in one hand, lotion in the other and "browse" through their local singles.

When they find someone worth "pursuing" they send them the usual "Hi, how's it going? I think you're cute," message and eagerly await a response.

But unless the person they've messaged is 14 going on 21, they don't usually receive a reply... at all.

Because nothing is creepier than a stranger spending their free time reading about your favorite movies, music, and looking at your "vacation with grandma pictures!"

Thus, Myspace is a place for friends, not a place for "first dates."

Sure, the internet is able to connect people from ALL OVER THE WORLD through such communities...

But it simultaneously isolates some people from the real world around them.

The real coffee shop up the street where they could meet a flesh and blood person to chat with.
The real bar across town where local singles congregate and celebrate all things "weekend related," where they could hear a person's laugh, smell their perfume, and offer them a drink.

These meeting places allow for a natural progression in conversation. They allow for physical awareness and flirtation. They allow people to make first impressions based on looks, chemistry, and compatibility.

So turn off the computer. Get dressed and put yourself in a real situation where you could meet someone great.

Because there are certain things you'll never find in a person's "about me," section.


Colin said...

I've found that people tend to resort to finding someone online, be it through social networking sites, online dating services, or chat rooms, because they feel that they've exhausted their options at the local watering holes. In most big cities, there are singles volunteer groups and other organizations such as the various kickball leagues that have cropped up recently, but these too tend to be dead ends for many people. My understanding is that people turn to the internet either as a last resort or due to social awkwardness. My best friend is one of those who has no luck at bars, coffee shops, or in social groups. He's had some success in finding dates online, but he wholeheartedly believes that he will never find "Miss Right" in a bar or at some chance meeting one night.

That's not to say that the bar/social scene thing doesn't work for everyone. It also isn't true that online options work for everyone as well. I know at least two success stories (my future sister in-law is best friends with "Anne Marie" of E-Harmony fame) so it must work some of the time. I guess some people just figure that the world is a bigger place than just the local stomping grounds and that Mr or Miss Right might be somewhere on the web.

Dj Lady said...

huzzah my friend. huzzah!

Chrissie said...

Colin, I agree that some people do have luck with online dating...

And while I see a comparison between Myspace/Facebook and actual dating sites like Cupid or EHarmony... the one difference is that people join the latter because they are all looking for someone to date.

Where as other people might harmlessly join other social networking sites in hopes of meeting up with old friends from high school/college... not realizing that having a "public" profile" means they are the eye candy for those looking for "more than friendship."

That being said... the world is bigger than the local watering hole/coffee shop etc., and I of course agree. I wasn't saying those were the only places to meet people, I was just using them as examples of places where you can find human contact rather than an image on your home computer screen.

Because that's the bottom line of this post for me, not that myspace-stalking is creepy... but that meeting someone online has a huge impact on our "first impressions."

Sten said...

I, personally, am not an online dater, but I do love menus with photos of the dishes ... you get a peek at what it looks like and a little description of what it's going to taste like.

Yuki said...

Yeah, but you forget - most of those photographs were taken when the food was perfectly cooked, sprayed with hairspray, and with its various sauces carefully and entrancingly drizzled on. What you see may not be what you get, unless you're ordering at a really ritzy place...

And if you are, why don't you have a meal at your table already?

Sten said...

It is true that online photos can be misleading, which is why I would only meet men in dimly lit venues. I hate to be disappointed.

Colin said...

Very true Chrissie, I guess I took your topic of issue too broadly. I agree, myspace stalking is pretty creepy and I don't know of anyone that has ever met their Mr/Miss Right that way. Hence I like to set my profiles to "private" as the people I want to talk to on such sites are friends I already have.

I have to agree with Sten though, it is fun to browse.