Monday, October 6, 2008

Alternate realities

My name is Sten ... and I watch reality shows.

I give a squeal of glee when "Project Runway" comes on at odd hours of the night and nothing goes better with a midnight snack than a rerun of "Iron Chef." (Though once I almost lost said snack when watching one of the chefs cut up a live octopus.)

I'll daydream about going on "Survivor" and showing the world how tough and smart I am or getting a whole new look on "What Not To Wear." C'mon ... who doesn't want $5,000 to go shopping in New York?

But most of all, I would LOVE to go on "The Amazing Race." The idea of traveling the world, solving clues, competing in challenges of the body and mind would be a dream come true. It would be the adventure of a life time.

Then there are the shows that make me want to throw up in my mouth.

"Fear Factor." I'm all about the awesome stunts, but in all honesty ... I don't think I could gobble down live bugs or partially developed chicken eggs.

"The Bachelor." The idea of vying for a complete stranger with 24 other women doesn't exactly put the rainbow sprinkles on my ice cream cone. Love may be an age old game, but it shouldn't be a competition. Especially since most of the men on that show are no prize.

Now ... the show I would have the LEAST interest of ever being even on ... drum roll ... "Flavor of Love." You have to be a hard core Public Enemy fan, deaf, blind, or desperate to be on television. I am none of those. If ever given one of his ridiculous over-sized clocks I would:

A. Hang myself.
B. Use the reflective surface to send out an S.O.S.
C. Count down the minutes until Amazing Race came on.


Sten said...

What show would you go on or never go on?

D said...

"Reality" stricken TV is the writhing corpse of entertainment. No wait, at least a bloated maggot animated corpse might be fascinating to watch.

Sten said...

There is no part of you that would want to go on a world-trekking adventure for a million dollars?

D said...

Yes, of course I would. I was mostly just being extreme... mostly. However, going on such an adventure is much different than watching amazing race.

Sten said...

True, but there is nothing wrong with being entertained, or inspired, by the exploits of others.

Colin said...

-Top Chef
-I Survived A Japanese Game Show
-Amazing Race
-Take over for Bear Grylls on "Man Vs. Wild"

Would Not:
-Fear Factor (I could eat bugs, but not for anything less than the millions Bear Grylls makes per season)
-Survivor (no sand-laden sex with unshaven whores please!)
-Anything that appears on VH1 or MTV