Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Room for regret
ME: "I like him! He's cute!"
HER: "Yeah! He's like Mr. Big... sorta!"
Numerous cocktails later. A trip to the ladies room alone. I returned to find HER kissing Mr. Big.
She "liked" him for a few days... maybe weeks. And then moved on which I took as my cue: To move in.
I fancied myself quite the stealthy-single-gal. Secret text messages. Secret rendezvous. Secret company in our shared apartment.
I waited for the right time to tell her. And waited. I waited too long, because the way she found out was with her own two eyes. My stealth was no match for her sleuth.
And I knew exactly how she was feeling. I'd been there. I'd broken a man's heart only to have it mended by my friend too-soon after. I knew the rules. Exes. Are. Off. Limits.
ME: "I'm sorry! Ugh! This feels so gross!!! Forgive me?!"
HER: "Sure, he's just a guy. You're my best friend.
And just like that I realized there are no real rules for dating your friend's ex... only regrets.
But not the kind you might think.
It's not the secrets or even the consummate "betrayal."
It's the fact it sometimes takes too long to forgive your friend.
For being lonely. For sharing your taste. For being human.
And after being on both sides of the dating debacle...
For that, I'm sorry.