The evening had been planned well in advance, and she wouldn't accept my "I can't go out, I feel fat" excuse for anything.
"Don't worry," she said. "We won't see anyone you know."
And so we ventured to a little celebrated spot and planned an evening of relaxation, overly priced wine, and single-watching.
But while my hopes were to spend time with that old friend, I ran into an old flame instead.
And when I say "old," I mean that literally.
And when I say "flame," I mean he was fired up from a day/evening of drinking and debauchery.
"No way!" exclaimed my friend as he walked in. "What are the odds!"
The odds, as always, were stacked against me.
Eventually the dreaded time came where my friend had to use the restroom and I was needed to save our table and watch our personal belongings.
"Just be quick," I pleaded. "I don't want to make phony conversation with him!"
I wasn't alone for more than 3 seconds before the barrage began. I was used to his close talking and overly flirtatious touching, but this time he dropped a bomb.
"So what did you gain?" He asked. "Like ten pounds?"
Silence on my end.
Because. Yes. Since we began our un-relationship nearly 3 years ago, I've gained about 10 lbs. Too much sitting where I once waited tables. Too many full meals with the man I love. Too many nights feeling content, and not enough on the prowl as I used to be. My single pants sway softly in the closet and I look at them from time to time. Wishing I were slim again, but never single.
"Yes," I replied. "And thank you for pointing it out."
"Hey, I didn't say it was a bad thing!" he exclaimed. "You seem to have gained in all the right places!"
I scrunched my face in disbelief.
Was that supposed to be a compliment?
Was this really the guy I once referred to as the one that got away?
"Well," I said. "I guess some things have changed."
But it wasn't my larger jeans I was talking about. Or the fact my hair was longer and his coat seemed tighter.
It was the clarity with which I could finally see his game.
He wasn't the "one that got away," after all. He was the one I should have let go sooner. The one who could never be the something more I needed.
"Well... I may be fat," I said. "But you're still single."